I can’t imagine how heavy a burden it must be to carry the weight of not only your own grief but that of your kids and family as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if people expect those who are grieving to do it in certain ways they think are acceptable. Add in a town that’s up in your businesses, and Holt’s probably been struggling with the expectations of everyone for a long time.
“After our first night together, I started to truly think about my life and what I wanted my future to look like. I don’t want to hold myself back because I’m afraid of what might happen. I learned the hard way that life can change on a dime, and hiding away from experiencing everything the world has to offer just because something bad can happen would only lead to a sad, lonely life. I don’t want my girls to live like that, so why would I?”
He shakes his head. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that I want to explore whatever this connection is between us. I have no idea where it will lead, and I’m honestly not even sure I’m ready for it to lead somewhere serious, but I don’t want to ignore what’s going on because I’m terrified of the unknowns.”
I breathe out a long breath. “Gotta be honest, I am so not used to a man just laying out his emotions the way you did. It’s refreshing, don’t get me wrong, but I thought it would take a little more coaxing to get you to open up like that.”
“A ten-year age difference and a tragedy make a big difference between me and the guys you’re used to dating.”
I smirk. “Too true. Okay, here’s my list of issues. I’m only going to be here for a few more weeks at most. My job for the mayor likely won’t take that long, and I definitely can’t afford to stay longer. I’ve also never gone out with someone long enough to say I’m dating them, so I have no idea what I’mdoing when it comes to having any type of relationship. What I do know is you’re different from any other man I’ve been interested in, and that scares the shit out of me.”
“To be frank, I’m not the kind of guy who can do a friends-with-benefits situation without the lines blurring. I’ll probably catch feelings if we keep this up, but then we have to contend with the fact that you’ll be leaving soon.”
“And while I usually am good at the no-strings-attached thing, I couldn’t do that with you. We’ve already crossed all the normal barriers I use to stay detached.”
We sit in silence, contemplating our shitty situation. “Are we making this more complicated than it is?” I finally ask.
Holt shrugs. “Maybe. But heartbreak sucks, and I’d rather not experience it if I don’t have to.”
“Same.”
“So do we just try to be friends?”
I bark out a laugh. “That’s not likely. There’s no way I could keep my distance if we’re ever alone.”
“I couldn’t either. So we either never see each other again or we do this and see what happens, knowing you’ll be leaving in a few weeks.”
“Who knows? Maybe we’ll find that we’re not compatible outside of sex.”
Holt gives me a disbelieving look. “Sure, maybe.”
CHAPTER 12
Holt
“You look fucking gorgeous tonight,” I say over the loud music in the bar.
“The boots are working for you?” Gia smirks.
“They’re definitely working for me. And so are the jeans. Do you know how fantastic your ass looks in those?”
“I’m well aware. That’s why I wore them.”
“I’ll need you to wear those more often.”
“Done.”
I wrap my arm around Gia’s waist from behind while we watch everyone dance in the middle of the room. The Howling Wolf is crowded tonight. I know just about everyone here, and they’ve all tried to get the scoop on Gia. I can’t lie and say it hasn’t been a little weird being out on a date with someone who isn’t my wife, but I’m also enjoying myself more than I have in a while.
After Gia and I decided to see what this could be, I told her I was going to take her out on a proper date. Getting ready tonight was more nerve-racking than I expected it to be. It’s been years since I dated, and I forgot about the pre-date jitters I used to get.
The girls are hanging out with my parents tonight. Mom and Dad were ecstatic to come over when I told them what I was doing. I didn’t specify I was going with a woman to save myself the headache, but I think Mom guessed.
She tried to wheedle information out of me when they got to the house, but I managed to avoid her probing questions. Dad helped to distract her, and I owe him big-time for the assist.
I didn’t tell the girls I was going out with Gia either. They’d have been sad that they couldn’t come with me. I also knew they’d blab to Mom the second she got them alone. I’d rather not have her sticking her nose into my business before Gia and I get a chance to spend time together outside of sex.
“You know how to country swing?” I nod toward the couples dancing around the floor.
