I bite my lip, debating whether to voice my worry or not. I never let anyone see my vulnerabilities. Not even my best friends. Ginny is the only one who has caught glimpses of my insecurities, and even that made me uncomfortable. I learned the hard way that by letting people see your weaknesses, you open yourself up to heartbreak. And now I don’t know how to be anything other than a hardass without feelings.
“Just tell us, Gia. You’re always here for us when we need you—let us return the favor,” Lottie says softly.
With a deep breath, I share my biggest fear. “What if I fall for him but he doesn’t love me back?”
“But what if he does love you?” Ginny throws back. “Are you willing to push him away just because you’re afraid? How do you know he’s not the man you were meant to fall in love with? If you hold yourself back, you’ll never know what could have been.”
“And if he does break your heart, we’ll send Michael outthere to break his kneecaps.” Addie’s grin is terrifying, but it makes me laugh. It’s exactly what I needed to curb the overload of emotions swamping me.
She’s also right. Her fiancé absolutely would defend me if I ended up brokenhearted. Not that I’d let him do anything like that, but it’s a good reminder that I have a lot of people I can lean on if the worst were to happen.
“I hear what you’re saying, and I promise not to make any decisions out of fear. But I’m still not sure if this is something I want.”
“The only thing we care about is your happiness, G,” Lottie says. “As long as you’re doing the right thing for you, we’ll support you.”
“And you’re not running away because you’re scared of the unknown,” Ginny adds.
“Yeah, yeah. I got it. I need to finish some work because this project for Pine Creek Falls is going to be a whole lot bigger than I anticipated.”
“You’ll keep us updated?” Lottie asks.
“For sure. Love you guys.”
We end the call after saying goodbye, and I sit surrounded by silence in Holt’s living room. His house really is incredible. The exposed beams running along the vaulted ceilings give it such an elegant vibe. It’s hard to fathom that he built this whole thing on his own.
I pour another glass of wine and take it up to my bedroom. I really do have work I need to do, but I also wanted to stop talking about my feelings. It was all a little too much sharing for someone who never shares anything.
I settle into bed and pull out my iPad to work on a few drawings. I like to mock up my ideas to get a baseline for certain graphics I’m creating. Sometimes it’ll just be quick and easy designs I don’t have to think about. Others will require more intricate details that take more time toflesh out.
While I draw, I listen to my new audiobook. The narrators are amazing, and I get lost in the story more than my drawing. It seems backward, but it keeps me from being too critical of the imperfect details.
But then the male narrator suddenly growls, “Good girl,” in my ear, and my brain fritzes out. My attention turns wholly to the story as things begin to get steamy.
I’ve become a little pent up as the sexual tension has grown between me and Holt. I haven’t felt comfortable taking things into my own hands, given that the girls are right across the hall from me and Holt is only a few doors further away. Since he’s at his friend’s house and the girls are gone, now would be a perfect time to get a little relief.
I scoot down in my bed, listening to the narrators banter back and forth while clothes start to come off. My hand drifts down my belly, teasing the skin under my cropped T-shirt. If I’m imagining a certain cowboy’s callous-roughened hand, then that’s nobody’s business but mine.
Pressure begins to build in my core, my heartbeat pulsing in my clit, and I can’t hold back from swiping my fingers across the tight bud of nerves. It makes me suck in a breath as pleasure crashes through my body. I circle my fingers around my clit as the male narrator says some seriously dirty things in my ears.
It reminds me of my night with Holt, and his name slips from my lips without conscious thought.
A noise that’s not my audiobook makes my eyes fly open, and they crash with wide blue ones.
CHAPTER 10
Holt
Iwalk into a quiet house. The light over the stove and a lamp in the living room allow me to walk around without stubbing a toe.
Something about knowing Gia left the lights on for me makes my stomach flip over. My conversation with the guys is messing with my head. I’m not in love with Gia Miller. It’s impossible to fall for someone this fast.
But…
I might like the woman. A lot. And as much as I’d like to, I don’t think I can keep the distance between us for much longer. If she tells me flat out she doesn’t want to date me, then I can move on without too much disappointment. I just can’t keep holding back my feelings without knowing where she stands on the matter.
I’ve always gone after what I wanted.
After interning at a law office my freshman year of college, I knew law school was my future. When I met Hannah at a frat party, I wanted her to be mine within minutes of talking to her. The next day, I took her out to dinner, and we never looked back.
