Her mother shook her head. “Do not. He has tried so hard to shield you from this. It is easier for him to bear your fury than your heartbreak. And he’ll be quite cross with me if he discovers how you learned of it.” She added the last in a lighter tone, clearly trying to coax a laugh.
“Yes, well…”
“I know Leo is becoming a fine young man. And if I thought you really liked each other, I could not possibly be happier. But it is quite clear there are no romantic sentiments between the two of you.”
“Surely he is right, and affection can grow with time,” Eliza posited.
Her mother’s sigh echoed in the small gazebo. “It can, it certainly did between his parents.”
Eliza waited, sensing that was not the end of her mother’s thought.
“But just as often, it is not affection but resentment that grows. Leo’s mother was married to another man who passed before she wed his father. And no love grew from that union. Do you understand my concern?”
“I do. But surely you know, Mama. Not every story ends in a happily ever after. Sometimes a good and kind man is far better than the alternative.”
“Oh, Lizzie, I know that far better than you. It was once all I thought to hope for as well. But our situations are quite different. You are an heiress in your own right. You can live comfortably for the rest of your days without marrying and never want for anything. And your papa and I love you to distraction. That was not my experience… In my case, a good and kind man could have been the difference between life and death.”
“Mama?”
Her mother worried her lip between her teeth. “I’ve done my best to shield you girls from the worst parts of my upbringing. But perhaps that was wrong. Now, I am not saying Sinclair was right—he is an absolute villain to have attempted to use you in such a way. But I suspect his father and mine are very much alike. My father was—is—a cold, cruel, and bitter man. I lived in fear of him all my life. And I can think of little I wouldn’t havedone to placate him. Until I met your father. Until I found hope of something better, something more.”
“You’ve said before that he was unkind. But I cannot imagine?—”
“For some men, gaming is an obsession. They crave it, live it, breathe it. They will do anything, give anything, for the thrill of the next win. My father was such a man. He owed an insurmountable sum to your father—had leveraged everything, including this very house. He intended to sell me in marriage to pay those debts. If he’d had the time to concoct such a scheme as Lord Sinclair’s… I do not doubt he would have. And IknowI would have gone along with it to keep myself safe. I was terrified of him in a way I thank God every day you and your sister will never know.”
Suddenly, Eliza saw her mother, her parents’ marriage, through new eyes. That her grandfather hadn’t approved of Papa, Eliza had always known. But she had never considered the fortitude required of her mother to defy him and choose her father.
“Mama, I do not know what to say.”
“There is nothing to say, dearest.Now, your father is careful to prevent men like my father from overextending themselves, but back then he was willing and eager to take every shilling. So while I am devastated for you, and furious at Sinclair, I can understand how the nefarious scheme came to be. I sympathize with him, even though I think him a cad of the highest order.”
“I— Thank you for telling me. But I still don’t understand your objections to Leo calling on me. As you said, a good, kind man would have been your salvation.”
“My objection is that you have determined you are in need of salvation far too soon. You are not yet one and twenty. Because Sinclair was not a man deserving of you does not signify that there is no such man to be found. But as you have pointed out,I have no objections to Leo at all. If this is what you want, I will support you. But please do not make a decision of this magnitude rashly.”
“I will… consider what you have said. But I see no reason to end things with Leo at this stage. We are not even formally courting.”
“Very well. I have said my piece on the subject.”
“Thank you, Mama.”
“Of course,” her mother said as she stood. Wordlessly, she dipped down to press a kiss to the top of Eliza’s head. “I’ll see you at supper. No more absenting yourself from meals.”
“Yes, Mama,” Eliza said dutifully. Her mother’s steps crunched along the gravel pathway back into the house. She had given Eliza too much to consider for her to abandon her retreat so soon. In fact, she remained in the gazebo until Sophie called her to supper.
Chapter Thirty
Every rut jerkedat his torn flesh, leaving Benedict in pulsing agony.
He hadn’t managed to apply either the honey or the salve in the day and a half he’d been trapped in this blasted carriage. The angle proved impossible to manage, and the wounds had ripped open and bled, leaving the linen of his shirt fixed to his skin.
The beginning of his journey had been the most infuriating hours of his life. A dense fog settled in during the night, not abating until morning. It left the mottled, poorly maintained roads between Bodmin and Exeter even more treacherous than they otherwise would have been. His dread was not tempered by practicalities such as safe travel conditions. Nor was his pain eased by the knowledge that the road would soon smooth out.
At last, the scent of damp hay gave way to the greasy slick of oil lamps. Eventually, they reached the smoother, packed roads, and his drivers were able to gain speed—nearly recovering the time they’d lost in the fog.
Benedict had never known impotence such as he had in these last hours. Aching in body, head, and heart as they warred among each other for prominence. Heknewthey could notpossibly go faster, that he could not outpace a team of fresh horses on foot. He could do nothing for Eliza if his wounds tore from assisting the team at every change. And his assistance was more of a hinderance than help. But that knowledge was an agony all its own. The few hours he was delayed would not likely be the ones that Eliza was— No, he’d forced himself to stop that thought miles ago. Ruminating on the fate bearing down on Eliza solved nothing.
She would be fine. He would foil his father’s plan before any harm came to her. His father had sent men ahead days before Benedict learned of the plan. But that didn’t signify that they’d found an opportunity to— The bit of bread and cheese he’d forced down wrenched uncomfortably in his stomach. She was safe and warm and tucked away in her bed. She had to be. Anything else was unthinkable.
