A pink tongue darted between those full lips while his fingertips traced the muscles of my thighs in tandem. “Have you ever had a craving for a treat—a pastry, a cake, something like that? That you’ve longed for over days or weeks?”
“Yes.”
“But when you finally got it, it didn’t taste the way you imagined at all. In fact, it was so disappointing that you never wanted it again?”
“What?” I demanded, heart in my stomach.
“This was nothing like that,” he added with a cheeky, teasing grin.
“Arse!” I shoved him playfully by the shoulder and he fell back onto his elbows with a laugh.
“Xander,” he groaned. “Don’t be mad.”
“I loathe you,” I muttered half-heartedly, pulling my breeches up and buttoning them.
“Oh, well, that is unfortunate. I was looking forward to repeating that. But if you loathe me, I’ll have to find someone else to?—”
I caught his jaw, pulling him back up to seated. “Don’t you dare. You’re only allowed to do that with me.”
Earnest, wide eyes met mine. “Yes?”
“Yes.”
“Now?” he asked, eager hands snaking back toward my rebuttoned breeches.
“No. Some of us no longer have the benefit of youth.” I batted his determined fingers away.
“Old man…” he teased.
“Rude,” I muttered, guiding him back to lean on his elbow again as I reached for his breeches.
He coughed and pulled back, his expression unreadable.
“What is it?”
His eyes squeezed shut, head tipping to the ceiling. He mumbled something I couldn’t make out. Worry slammed into me, and I fought back a shudder.
“Tom, tell me.”
“It’s too late for that,” he said to the ceiling.
“Why is it—oh.” It was a struggle to keep the smile off my face as the worry melted away into a masculine pride I had no right to. I didn’tdoanything, I had no right to claim his pleasure as my own.
“Yes,oh.”
Tom was flushed and still refusing to meet my gaze. I couldn’t bear both his shame and our physical distance.
I slipped a knee on the cot, nudging him to turn lengthwise. He grumbled but cooperated, flipped to his side, and curled against me. His legs were too long by half for the cot and we were too wide for it. I lay half on, half off, with Tom’s legs akimbo across mine. Finally, he let me tuck my arm underneath his neck and rested his head on my bicep.
I caught a knee with my free hand, caressing it. “Such a cricket.”
He grumbled playfully, nudging a cool nose into the fabric of my shirt and inhaling deeply.
“Why are you embarrassed?” I whispered.
“Because I—without you?—”
“Mmm, yes, you did.” Unearned pride still swirled through my veins; it wouldn’t go anywhere soon.
