“I don’t particularly fancy that option.”
“I don’t either.”
“What’s behind the door then?”
I caught the ghost of her sigh. “I could knock. You could open the door, laugh in my face, send me away.”
I felt the laugh bubbling up. Fortunately the sincerity in her tone stopped me before it could escape. The idea was so absurd…
“You really think there’s a situation in which you knock on my door, that you come to me, for anything, and I would send you away?”
She was quiet for an overlong moment. I held my breath, waiting desperately for her response. She was silent long enough for me to feel an impassioned declaration bubbling up inside, struggling to break free.
“It was the least likely of the options. Still, it’s a possibility to be considered.”
“It’s not.” I insisted. “What are your other possibilities?”
“If I knocked, and you invited me in, one of two things would happen. We could kiss, and kiss, and kiss until the world fell away. Until your coat and shirt and trousers fell too. Then my night rail. One thing would lead to another, and we would fall together.”
Christ… My breathing was heavy and quick, and if the sounds through the door were at all accurate, it matched her own.
Swallowing some of the lust, I answered through the door. “That sounds like an excellent option.”
“Oh, it is. For now. You would certainly fall in love with me. But what would happen tomorrow?”
“You seem very sure of yourself.”
“Tell me I’m lying.”
She wasn’t. And I couldn’t. I was half in love with her already. If I were with her, inside her, I would be lost.
“Oh, you’re not. I’m a little disappointed in how transparent I’ve been.”
“You saved me, that night when those men attacked. And you came for me, when your entire professional life had been ransacked, you worried afterme. And you held me this morning, while I cried over another man.”
“So entirely obvious…” I lamented.
“Yes.”
“And the third option?”
“You invite me in. And we fall into bed, same as before. Except this time, you wrap me in your arms. You hold me, and run your fingers through my hair, and watch me sleep until you can’t stay awake any longer. In the morning, I wake before you and do the same. And I fall in love with you as the sun rises.”
It was, apparently, possible to be reduced to trembling desperation by mere words whispered through a door. I didn’t need any help falling in love with her, the possibilities she offered were more than enough.
“Also an exceptional choice.” My voice was rusted, broken, and it was all her fault.
“Except for the problem of tomorrow again.”
“What happens tomorrow?” I begged.
“I don’t know how to be loved any longer, or be in love. I— It nearly destroyed me. Losing him. Every single breath was a white-hot knife in my chest. For years. I don’t know how to risk that again. And… if I don’t risk it, how could I possibly be what you deserve?” Her voice was strung tight as a bow, anguished tension in every word.
But she was there with me. She may not know it yet, but the fact that she was considering it, contemplating it, she was there.
I choked back the whispers of love and reassurance. Those would only ensure she left without a knock. “Why don’t you let me worry about what I deserve?”
“Would you? Really? Because I don’t know everything about your relationship with Adriane, but I don’t think she loved you as she ought.”
