“You do? She’s my wife. Until I saw you and Juliet kissing around every corner, I thought my relations with Kate were what was expected between married couples.”
His face landed in his palm, and I was regretting this entire conversation more than any I have ever had before. Why did I think the man would be helpful for the first time in my life when he could be obtuse and smug? When he finally surfaced, he threw back his glass and did not refill it this time.
“All right, clearly I’ve failed you as an elder brother. I’m sorry for that. I’m going to speak plainly, no more euphemisms.”
“Do not touch her again until you ask if she’s amenable and she agrees. Nothing beyond the barest touches necessary to maintain propriety. I mean it. Once she’s agreeable to the most basic of touches and learns that they’re not only offered as a prelude to something more you may press on. Ask her about more affectionate touches, gentle kisses to her hand or her cheek, that sort of thing. If she initiates casual touch, be appreciative of it but don’t treat it as an invitation to press further.” He paused there, waiting for acknowledgement.
I was frozen into stunned silence. I had rarely heard him string so many words together. Only once had he spoken so passionately in my presence. That disaster of a day when I realized what a sham my marriage was. All I could manage was a nod.
“I want you to accustom yourself to the idea that you may not be having marital relations for some time. Kisses, amorous touches, anything further does not happen until she asks for them, until she begs for them.”
Now I was concerned, as I was still responsible for providing the next viscount. “But—”
“But nothing. Trust me, there is nothing in the entire world as heady as the woman you love requesting your attentions, craving your touch. You will thank me. You’ll never want her to endure your attentions again.”
“How can I be certain she will? Request that is.”
“Because you’re going to be the most charming man in existence. She is going to find her favorite flowers on every available surface. You’re not going to present them to her, they’re going to appear. She loves to play piano, so new arrangements will materialize at her place setting in the morning next to her favorite drink, which you will prepare—not the servants. You’re going to express your love for her quietly, without expectation, every single day. You will ask her about her day and her interests and her hopes and her dreams. You will actually listen to what she tells you and ask thoughtful questions. You are going to learn what makes your wife feel loved. You’re going to do those things for her, every minute of every day. You’re going to make her fall in love with you. You’re going to be a man who deserves that love.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. Falling in love with Juliet was easy, figuring out how to love her the way she needed me to was the difficult part.”
“And once I’ve done that, once I’ve earned her love and made her ask, what do I do then?”
He sighed and poured himself another glass. “Have you any parchment and ink? I need to draw a diagram.”
Thirty-Eight
THORNTON HALL, KENT – OCTOBER 20, 1814
KATE
Marriage agreed with my friend.She was free with her smiles and unguarded, perhaps even sitting taller. I liked Michael in his own right, but even if I did not, I would adore him for the effect he had on Juliet. This was everything I had ever wanted for her.
It was all I had ever wanted for myself, too.
Something about the tentative truce Hugh and I had found made the pain of watching Jules and Michael all the sharper. Before our fight, it was a dull ache. It was a given that I would never have the love that I wanted. But now… It was closer. Closer but forever out of reach.
I felt the first flutterings in my heart when Hugh’s hand brushed mine, or when his breath kissed my cheek. My stomach gave a pleasant jolt when I caught his eyes on me in that way that could never be interpreted as critical.
But I knew he would never feel the same, and that made it worse.
I thought being in a marriage with a man who I loathed was bad. I had not considered the circle of hell that was lower still, the one where I fell in love with Hugh, and he did not return my affections.
“—and you are not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”
“Jules?” Something about my tone must have given her pause. Wordlessly, she left her chair to join me on the settee, pulling my hand into her own. I opened my mouth, not entirely certain what I was going to say. Instead of words, a sob escaped.
Juliet pulled my face into the crook of her shoulder, rubbing my back softly. Whispered apologies and reassurances washed over me. Eventually the time between inelegant sniffs lengthened and I pulled free from her shoulder.
“Can you tell me? Can I help?” she asked, her own eyes a bit red. I glanced toward the still open door. She rose quickly, pulling it shut and snapping the lock into place before finding her way back to my side.
“I think I’ve ruined my marriage.”
“Lord Grayson spent the evening staring at you like a much-denied treat. I very much doubt it is ruined. Also, I am given to understand that the success or failure of a marriage is very much the responsibility of both parties.”
“I told him that I hated him and I never wanted to marry him.”
