“Hugh?”
“Sorry, I am not entirely certain where to start.”
“The beginning seems as good a place as any.”
“That’s quite a long way…” I warned.
“I’ve got time.”
“Very well. For the record, this story does not paint me in the very best of lights.”
She chuckled at that. “I could hardly think worse of you than I did on the eve of our engagement.”
“There is that, I suppose. I have nowhere to go in your esteem but up.” With a fortifying breath, I began. “For my entire life, I have been… wary of Michael. I suppose it was my mother’s doing, some imagined battle where she pitted us against one another. As far as I can recall, my father never had any designs for legitimizing Michael. He certainly had none after I was born. There was never any question of the lands and title falling to me. But that did not stop her. Michael lived in this in-between realm, half-son, half-servant.”
“But he was better than me at everything, studies, sport, everything. Some of it was age, certainly seven years will ensure superiority in most things when you’re young. but I could not see it that way. It is difficult to see injustice when it is the only thing you have ever known. Michael had always lived like that so why should I consider it strange, or wrong?”
“Do you know, when Father died, I actually convinced myself that Michael had, not necessarily killed him, but allowed him to die. I was certain that if I had been there, I could have saved him. Eleven years old and miles away and I thought myself a hero.”
“Hugh—”
“I know, I saw him that day at the lake. Michael was far more a hero than I would have been, or at least he tried. Nearly killed himself trying to save me when I wasn’t even drowning.” I broke off with a bitter chuckle. “I cannot imagine what he did attempting to save Father. It was winter too, the lake must have been near freezing. It is lucky he did not perish in the attempt.”
“I was too young. And my mother was too—well my mother. Michael took over managing the estate. He did it for seven years. Then he handed it over to me without a word of complaint. What I did not know then, what I did not know until quite recently, in fact, was that the estate was all but bankrupt when Father died. A fact that has me questioning the timing of his death.”
I cracked there. I had not voiced my thoughts before, not about that. But to suggest such a thing… And about my own father… My throat was thick and tight with unbidden sentiment, and it was a real question whether I would be able to finish this sorry tale.
Without a word, Kate rose from her seat across from me, moving to my side, slotting her small form near mine. She took my hand in both of hers, rubbing her thumb along the back of my own. It was that gesture, more than anything, that broke me. A few tears escaped without my permission.
Swallowing harshly, I continued. “I have not been able to bring myself to ask Michael, but the timing is too convenient to be coincidence. Tom and I have been sorting through back ledgers. It seems that Michael somehow managed to gamble our way out of debt. Not only out of debt but into prosperity. Then had enough remaining to open his club. And I accused him of skimming from the estate to open it.”
“In my infinite wisdom as new acting viscount, I released the solicitor he hired. I would have terminated the steward as well but there were no others qualified. I was convinced that I needed someone loyal to me and not Michael. Some months ago, I discovered that the funds the solicitor told me were sent to the estate and the funds the steward reported receiving did not match. Had not matched for some time. It is a discrepancy to the tune of some £15,000. I did not want to believe it at first. Then, of course, I was convinced that the culprit was Michael’s steward. But it was the solicitor of course. I have determined that now. I will pursue legal action, of course, but it is unlikely that much if anything will be recovered.
“So you see, in addition to being such an arrogant ass that I made the sweetest woman in the world loathe me, I am an utter failure at the role I was born to as well.”
“Oh, Hugh…” She freed one hand from mine, brushing my overgrown hair behind an ear. “I do not loath you. Find you irksome and astonishingly disinterested on a frequent basis, yes, but loath no.”
“Oh, well, that is good then,” I tossed back to her with my most sarcastic tone.
“Well, the astonishing disinterest at least has a cause now, given enough groveling I may even be able to forgive that.”
“Kate, I did not mean to make you feel unimportant.”
“I never thought you were doing it intentionally. Also, I can thoroughly disabuse you of the notion that I am the sweetest woman in the world. I did call you spineless and heartless I believe.”
“You were not precisely wrong in your assessment. In fact, you were right, I do not deserve you. Michael took an estate on the brink of bankruptcy and made it more than prosperous in less than seven years without the weight of a title to throw around. I managed to take the same estate back to the edge of bankruptcy in four years. You deserve so much better than that.”
“Hugh, I did not marry you for your lands or your title.”
“You did not wish to marry me at all.”
“Fair, but if I had, it would not have been for lands or titles. That is never what I wanted out of a marriage. I wanted someone who looks at me the way Michael looks at Juliet, the way Father looks at Mother, the way Sydney looks at Lizzie. I know we cannot have that. But I hope we may be able to have a marriage of mutual respect.”
I tried to recall how, exactly, my brother looked at his wife. The expression on his face when he was courting her surreptitiously, scandalously, but there was nothing. Even in that I had been distracted and unobservant.
Still, the ache in my chest when Kate was away, the rising hope now, those did not feel like respect. At least not entirely. Was my punishment for my marital failings to fall in love with my wife, a woman who would try her best to respect me? It was no less than I deserved. I owed her that. “I would like that.”
“Very well. Allow me to help. When I married you, this became my home too, these are my tenants to care for just as they are yours. Let me help.”
