Hugh
I made my way back to my bed on unsteady legs.
That was… I understood now, what all the talk was about. It certainly would not be a chore to bed my wife. Not at all.
I flopped on the turned down covers, tracing a finger along my lips. I was struck once again by how small my wife was when I walked in. Seated on Mother’s ugly bed coverings, she took up nearly no space in her simple white nightgown.
For the first time, I saw her hair loose. It was longer than I had thought, a silky dark curtain down her back. Her skin was flushed, her lips bitten, eyes bright.
And I could read every nervous thought that flitted through her head. Her eyes widened when she took in my banyan, lingering on the opening of my neck, gaze flitting down farther before landing on my bare feet.
Hers were bare as well, ten delicate toes available for viewing. Ankles too. Even in the relatively modest nightdress, it was more skin than I had ever enjoyed before.
Finally, I sat beside her, slipping my hand atop hers on the bed. She flipped her palm up, lacing our fingers together. Hers were short with flat blunt tips and close clipped nails. It was a wonder she could stretch her hand wide enough to reach the keys on the pianoforte.
It took a long moment before I could speak, this was not a place to allow nervous silence to overtake me. In this, I must lead. “Did your aunt talk to you?”
She nodded, staring at our entwined fingers.
“You will let me know if I hurt you?”
Again a nod.
I urged her back, and we became one. At first it was awkward. The rhythm had not been as instinctive as I expected. And her small hand, still laced with mine, tightened at first entry. She made no complaints though, tucking her face into my shoulder instead.
I suspected there had been some pain but she said nothing. I could only hope it was not too significant.
Her hair was soft when I tangled my free hand in it. The unwieldy movements quickly became familiar, pleasant, pleasurable, euphoric,everything. Far too soon it was over, I was panting my release into her hair.
Everything inside me screamed against leaving her. But that was the done thing. It would be improper to pull her to me, to fall asleep with her hair brushing my chin and her curves tucked into my side.
Even now, settled in my own bed, I wanted to return. Instead, I forced myself to crawl beneath my own covers. It was far too long before sleep found me and when it did, it came with the scent of jasmine.
Fifteen
GRAYSON HOUSE, LONDON - NOVEMBER 26, 1813
KATE
I awoketo the rustle of Anna with a breakfast tray in the sitting room. My sleep was poor and filled with fits and starts. Last night was not as terrible as I feared, in some moments it was even pleasurable, but it was nothing like what I hoped for. I hadn’t acknowledged it consciously, at least not until after he left, but I dreamed of easy touches and warm, tender kisses. It did not seem that those would be a part of my future.
A small part of my heart ached for what I would never know. Buttoning that piece of myself away, I knew I could mourn that loss later. When I was settled in this house, this role, this life. Or perhaps, those things might come with time and familiarity.
Today, I needed to begin the impossible task of becoming a viscountess. It was apparent after yesterday that no help would come from my mother-in-law’s corner. With no path before me, I decided to begin with solving the most irksome problems first. The bedclothes needed to go. Preferably today. Ideally in flames.
Anna poked her head around the corner, lifting the tray with both hands in wordless explanation. I sat up, tucking the appalling bed coverings around me.
“I did not know whether you preferred coffee or tea or how you took them, so I brought both and the fixings.”
“Black tea usually. Unless there is drinking chocolate.”
“There can be.”
“You’re a treasure.”
“Do you prefer to take your breakfast in bed? Or in the breakfast parlor?”
“I’ve never taken it in bed before. I will probably prefer it downstairs except on special occasions. I was wondering, are there any guest bedrooms I might be able to exchange bed coverings with?”
