He hated me, and I was to spend the rest of my life under his power, begging for tiny scraps of affection. I tried to draw a calming breath but the gown Aunt Prudence insisted on cut deep into the top of my breasts with each inhale. The sharp tulle sliced into my skin, protesting my need for air. Worse still, the thing was as hideously uncomfortable as it was plain hideous.
In truth, the color was the least flattering aspect of the gown, but the lace and ribbons did nothing to improve matters. Kit, in a desperate attempt at levity, had spent the morning comparing me to various citrus and stone fruits. The numerous sparkly baubles stuck in my hair added to the cacophony. They were making a valiant attempt to escape my head. Powerless to remedy the situation, I resolved to keep my head steady until I could find a mirror to fix, or better yet, remove them entirely.
Far too soon, we arrived outside of Aunt Prudence’s home. The wedding breakfast… I alternately wished it to be over and for it to be never ending. I had no desire to attend, to wear an unfortunate gown whilst receiving false congratulations and ignoring sneers from theton. But… after this meal, the rest of my life would begin in earnest. And that was a horrifying prospect.
* * *
The wedding breakfasthad been a comedy of errors beyond even Shakespeare’s imagination. My new husband glared at everyone. My brother seethed at my bridegroom. Lady James’s eye seemed to twitch every time I was congratulated; her plot to ensure I was removed from the marriage mart a success, but not in the manner which she had intended. My new mother-in-law had swallowed a lemon and could not muster the effort to toady to my titled aunt and cousins. Aunt Prudence remained blissfully ignorant of the tension—as she had for the entire length of our engagement—accepting compliments on the event with alacrity. Lady Rycliffe was desperately trying and failing to find a way to get the two of us alone to give me “the talk,” deeming my aunt’s version insufficient and inaccurate. Lady Davina and her brother were engaged in some sort of tiff that involved a number of emphatic hand gestures. I was fairly certain those had nothing to do with me or my nuptials. And my new brother-in-law, Tom, was desperately trying and failing to diffuse.
I could not decide whether to laugh or cry.
Unfortunately, after the breakfast, my arrival at Grayson House was less a comedy and more a tragedy. The servants were welcoming and kind, and the house was well maintained—if somewhat distastefully decorated. That was where the good news ended.
The viscount disappeared immediately on our arrival, presumably to his study. He did not feel the need to offer an explanation for his whereabouts.
Unfortunately, his mother insisted on joining my tour. Weston, the butler, served as a guide since the house was seemingly between head housekeepers. A pretty red-haired maid, Anna, accompanied us. She was a few years my senior and grew up on the country estate but had volunteered to join her mother in welcoming me. Mrs. Hudson, the cook and Anna’s mother, was clearly beloved by everyone and welcomed me with open arms and a plate of delectable lemon tarts.
Just as I was beginning to feel a little more at ease, Lady Grayson reminded us of her presence with her usual wordless choking sound.
Her taste clearly differed from mine, the various furnishings she had chosen served more as ostentatious displays than any practical purpose. It was my place as viscountess to redecorate.Wasn’t it?I’d been told by all and sundry that it was expected. My mother-in-law seemed less than pleased with that idea when Anna mentioned fetching some upholstery samples the next time she went to market.
“Surely the new viscountess is not so high in her instep as all that. She is a simple country girl and has no understanding of London furnishings and fashions and can have no need to make changes.”
Anna waited a beat before continuing on the tour without reply. Dining room, ballroom, billiard room, music room—no pianoforte to be found—library, and drawing room all passed with no further comment on any improvements. The viscount’s study door was shut firmly, lending credence to my previous assumption that he was hiding there.
The tour moved to guest bedrooms, each step bringing us closer to the thing I feared most.
“Now for your new chambers. Hugh told me you wished for the adjoining rooms and had no qualms about who may occupy those rooms at present. I certainly hope they are to your taste,” the dowager said in a pinched tone.
One glance inside confirmed I had understood her implication correctly. These had once been my new mother-in-law’s rooms, not long vacated if the scent of lilacs and death were any indication.
Did that mean…? Did my new husband typically share adjoining chambers with his mother? Was that the done thing?Anna, catching my puzzled expression, gave a surreptitious shake of her head.
That was something of a relief then. They had been vacated in preparation for the wedding night. My wedding night… My stomach gave an unhappy jolt at that thought. Not for the first time, I wished Celine and I had found a few moments alone. Aunt Prudence’s depiction of events seemed unpleasant at best.
“Would you like some time to rest before you dress for dinner?” Anna asked, seemingly sensing my rising panic.
“Yes, please. What time is dinner typically served?”
“Seven. Shall I come back at six? His Lordship indicated you do not have a maid of your own. I can have a notice placed right away.”
“Yes, thank you,” I said.
After an eternity, they left, the door clicking behind them. I waited a full minute before turning the key, still in the lock, and rushing to the window. I threw it open, heedless of the November chill. Shoving my entire head and chest out the window, I took desperate great heaving gulps of air. It was both in an attempt to ease my distress and to clear my sinuses of that woman’s lingering scent.
Dipping back inside, I reached behind, trying and failing to undo the miles of tiny buttons pinning me into the itchy, overembellished gown. Before I could rip the thing in my effort to escape, I caught a knock at the door. Closing my eyes against the panic, I took one last breath of fresh air before shutting the window and turning to open the door once more.
It was a relief to find only Anna. “I thought you might need assistance?” she asked.
“Yes, thank you. It has been something of an overwhelming day and I didn’t consider…”
“Not to worry! Would you like the window back open? The room is a bit stuffy.”
“Yes, thank you,” I said.
I wasn’t even embarrassed to have been caught, just relieved for a further source of fresh air. She flitted over to the window, throwing it open, before returning to my side.
“I’ve started to unpack some of your things. Do you have a preference for which nightdress?” Oh, good lord. The nightdresses Aunt Prudence had insisted on. They were every bit as frilly and uncomfortable as the wedding gown.
