JULIET
I sleptlast night in a way I had not since the day Michael left Thornton Hall. It was a dreamless sleep driven by bone-deep exhaustion. Kate had been unbearably kind when I arrived at Grayson House yesterday. The viscount and his mother remained in Kent so it was just the two of us at supper and neither one of us spoke much.
Now though, I was once again feeling my stomach tumbling as I stared at the imposing visage of Hasket House. Much as I wanted to avoid this conversation and hide from His Grace until after the wedding date, it would be better that he hear this from me than my father. Though we were ill-suited, he had been kind to me during our betrothal and I loathed the idea of hurting him.
Eventually, I summoned the courage to knock and was once again greeted by the smartly dressed butler. The man looked at me with curiosity and peered behind me, searching for a chaperone. I had not felt it necessary to trouble Kate with the effort. My reputation would be in tatters regardless once I broke the engagement in a few minutes.
“May I speak with His Grace? Privately?”
He did not answer but instead gestured to wait in the drawing room before heading off down an equally imposing hall. I fidgeted uncomfortably in the harsh black and white of the room. Fortunately, His Grace arrived in only a few minutes. The butler pointedly left the door open, but His Grace closed it.
“Lady Juliet?” he asked with a bow before gesturing to a nearby chair.
“Your Grace.”
“Is there something I can assist you with? I had not expected you.” His tone was kind but concerned.
My heart gave a nervous lurch, and I waited for my uneven breathing that would surely follow, but, though rapid, it remained steady. Somehow, this was more difficult than speaking with my father.
“It is a matter of some delicacy… I should like to end our engagement.” Though I managed the words, I could not bear to look upon him as I spoke, staring at my, once again, scuffed slippers.
His reply was a measured, “I see…” He paused for a fortifying breath before continuing. “Juliet, I’m sorry but I cannot release you.”
My eyes snapped to his. I honestly hadn’t considered that he might refuse. Who would want to marry someone who did not wish to marry them?
“I don’t understand…”
“There are factors of which you’re unaware.”
“I know about the money and my father’s debts.”
He raised a surprised brow at that. “I had not thought he would tell you.”
“He didn’t. I overheard it.”
“Regardless, I still cannot release you.”
“But, Your Grace—”
“Xander, please. I think this conversation would benefit from a little familiarity. I prefer Xander to Alexander.”
“Xander, I cannot marry you. I have feelings for someone else.”
There’s a muttered curse under his breath followed by a resigned sigh. “I’m sorry to hear that, but, Juliet, I cannot release you. I must marry and produce an heir. After that, you can be with whomever you choose. As long as you are discreet, I have no objection.”
It took a moment to parse his meaning, and the result was horror. He would have no objections to an affair? He did not care if I loved another? “But surely you would wish for a wife who cares for you? Or, at least, one who does not long for another?”
“I would prefer a wife who did not have other attachments, it is true. But a wife who cares for me would be a… complication. I already had one failed courtship, Juliet. If you break the engagement, I will not find another bride. The ton will suspect there is something off about me.”
“But it has nothing to do with you. You’ve been kind and gentlemanly. If I didn’t have feelings for Michael, I could have been a good wife to you.”
With yet another exasperated sigh he continued, “Juliet, may I speak frankly and rely on your discretion?”
“Of course.”
“There is something about me the ton will not forgive. I will never have feelings for any wife I take.”
He paused here with a significant look, clearly hoping I would draw some sort of conclusion, but none was forthcoming.
