“Well, she said there was pain the first time, and a lot of thrusting. And that it was quite messy. Then sometimes there was pleasure.”
While I spoke, he pulled my grasped hand up to his lips. Untangling our fingers, he took each one in turn and pressed his lips gently to the tip. His eyes were intent on mine throughout. The simple action had an ache forming in my center anew.
“Michael?”
“There should always be pleasure. Always.” His gaze was heated, and his tone harsh, and I found myself clenching on nothing. “She’s not terribly wrong about the rest though.”
“I don’t… but that’s not…”
“We didn’t complete the… marital act. Just a precursor.”
“Oh.” In this I was ignorant, and I despised the feeling.
Before I questioned him further, he continued, drawing the words out. “You can’t be… with child from what we did.”
“Oh,” I repeated again stupidly. “Can you… Will you explain?”
“I shouldn’t.” I was about to protest. “But I will. You should know. All women should know. I don’t understand the secrecy. Not today though. It looks like the rain will begin again shortly. We should return to the house.”
Appeased for now, I allowed him to assist with setting my clothing to rights. As much as possible anyway. As my dress had begun to dry, the wrinkles became set in the fabric. There was no fighting my curls in this state, and my bonnet, left behind on the bridge, was unsalvageable. Once we made ourselves as presentable as the situation allowed, he offered me his arm. I rejected it in favor of wrapping both arms around his chest. He slipped his offered hand around my waist and guided me through to the clearing.
Once we reached the edge he paused. “Time to let go now.”
I shook my head, and he dropped a firm kiss to my head before disentangling us. My heart gave a disgruntled pang as he enforced the space propriety dictated.
Twenty-One
THORNTON HALL, KENT - JUNE 3, 1814
MICHAEL
My smalls were chafing.The discomfort was well deserved, and it was the least of my problems. I couldn’t leave one rule unbroken. I had lied, cheated, stolen, and gambled. But I had never seduced a lady before, an innocent one at that. Against a tree no less. Now I needed to find a way to sneak her back into the house without notice. Could she even dress and right her hair without a lady’s maid?
I risked a peek at her, and the state of her was even worse than I had expected. Her thick curls formed a nest on her head, her lips were bruised red, there was a distinct burn where my whiskers had rubbed her neck raw, and her skirts were wrinkled to hell and caked in mud. She had never looked more beautiful. And she had never looked more thoroughly tupped. As if sensing my gaze, she tilted her head to mine and greeted me with a bright grin. I struggled to offer her an answering smile through the thick knot in my throat.
It was a dangerous game I played, spending so much time with her. I knew it was wrong, and I continued anyway. I couldn’t stay away from her. No, I didn’t want to. Any moment now she would realize what I had done and castigate me as I deserved. A sick part of me prayed she never came down from the euphoria that seemed to have overtaken her. I shoved down the swelling of distinctly male pride that filled me at that thought.
The rain kept the household staff inside, and we were fortunate not to encounter anyone on the grounds. I set her by a tree just out of view of the house before checking the back entrance. There was a staircase that was rarely used by family or servants, and with luck I would be able to get her in unnoticed. For once, luck did have it, and no one was milling about. I gestured for her to join me. I ushered her up the stairs, abandoning her at the top to check for servants. When none were forthcoming, I pulled her toward the best guest room, certain that was where Kate had placed her. I took a step back from her, her closeness too enticing.
“Do you need me to find a maid?”
“No, I can manage.” Her small hand pulled my chin down to meet her eyes. “Michael? Is something wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re not upset with me, are you?” The open vulnerability in her tone and expression split my heart open.
“Never! You’re perfect, as always.”
I couldn’t help but press one last kiss to her forehead, certain she would never let me touch her again once she realized what I had taken from her. Instead of allowing me to pull back, she grabbed me closer, hand fisted in my shirt, directing my lips to hers. It was a gentle press; she tried to deepen it, but I kept it shallow. Finally, I released her with a nod towards the door.
“I’ll see you at dinner?”
The best I could offer her was a vague, noncommittal nod. It satisfied her though, and she finally closed the door between us. The click of the lock sliding into place was loud in the empty hallway. Determined. Final.
* * *
JULIET
