“We’ll get it resized.” Steven studied my hand with a slight frown. “But I mean it, with my whole heart, you’re the one for me.”
That was quite possibly the sweetest confession ever.
Any other book girlie would squeal, would fan herself at the illogical declaration.
But I didn’t believe in love. Fate, if it existed, was cruel and never helpful. Giving your heart to someone only invited them to hurt you.
Mine pounded with the scars that never healed.
Like a silent carnival ride, the room began to spin again with a sudden jolt. Garish lights danced across the edge of my vision. I blinked, trying to dispel the illusion. A rough pounding formed right behind my eyes. From above, the air vent blew over us. There was nothing sweet or refreshing about the perfectly chilled temperature. The rush of air felt like a thousand insect feet marching down my back.
The panic from earlier spiked again, and I needed to escape before I collapsed on the floor, tucked into the fetal position, and began to hyperventilate.
I gently tugged my hand away. Plucking the ring from my finger, I unclasped the strand of pearls on my throat, slid the heirloom onto the necklace, and reattached it.
“I’ll wear it like this for now,” I said sweetly. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’m going to freshen up.”
He didn’t notice my distress. I was glad he didn’t, but part of me wanted him toseeme. To know how bothered I was with this whole thing. To offer a solution.
“I’ll order us dinner.” Steven held up two fingers to summon the waiter. “And then…maybe we can go to your place for dessert?”
The volume increased tenfold. The buzz was now an alarm bell, and I stumbled as I rose. Across the table, Steven also stood, his movement distracting him from my shaking, trembling lack of balance.
He wanted to sleep with me.
He’d hinted at it the last time he was stateside, but our schedules hadn’t aligned.
“Dessert is good!” I said a little too loudly as I plodded away from the table.
Holding my clutch and phone in a death grip, I forced myself to take measured steps, cursing the Jimmy Choo pumps the whole way to the bathroom.
The small space was heavily scented with some nasty floral aroma.
It was the last straw.
I dove into a stall, fell to my knees, and retched wine, water, and saliva into the porcelain bowl. Since there hadn’t been time to eat lunch between meetings and the mountains of briefs, there wasn’t much for my stomach to upheave.
Leaning back on my haunches, I wiped my mouth with a tissue. I sat there, on the floor, taking deep breaths until the panic subsided. Usually, I felt the attacks coming and could breathe my way out of them. Tonight’s was just unusual.
There wasn’t agoodreason why the attack was triggered.
I’m just stressed.
An opportunity presented itself a few weeks ago. There was a position for a senior partnership at work. When I made junior partner last year at the firm, I didn’t think I would have a chance to reach the next rung in the corporate ladder this soon. But it didn’t stop me from trying. I’d spent the time working my ass off, and my billables were in a league of their own. Nothing, not a single force on earth, could stop me from trying.
With a sigh, I rose and went to the sink. A small mercy—the bathroom was empty.
“You’re going to go out there, put your game face on, and have a pleasant evening,” I ordered the blonde staring back at me in the mirror. “Then you’regoing to take your boyfriend—“ I held up my palm “—no, yourfiancéhome and rock his world.”
My stomach flipped again, but there was nothing left for it to hurl.
Great. The thought of finally having sex with a great guy like Steven made me sick.
I shook my head. It’d been a long day—and an even longer week. The stress had nothing to do with my reluctance to want to be with my boyfriend. It just didn’t help.
After fixing my lipstick, I remembered to silence my phone. But because I was a good little employee, I scanned my notifications, making sure there wasn’t a crisis that needed the attention of a junior partner.
My breath caught in my throat.
