“I’ll do the dishes in the morning,” he says, suddenly standing up. “If you just want to leave everything in the sink. I’m really tired, and I need to sleep. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” I croak, watching him leave the room.
I just spent the majority of my evening having an intense internal therapy session, only for him to dismiss me and go back to his brutish, neanderthal ways!
Fuck!
I stack up the dishes, my anger draining away until I just feel empty and sad. By the time I shower and curl up in bed, I’m completely exhausted and at the end of my emotional rope.
I don’t know what to do now. Merciful Goddess, if you can hear me—please. Show me the way. What am I supposed to do? Am I following your will? Do you require the sacrifice of my whole heart to stop Sakesh?
No answers or visions come to me, and my mental calls to Kyra go unanswered. I curl up, letting my tired, aching body drag my mind into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Chapter 21 - Dan
The next morning, I awake in full darkness. When I look out the window, I see only the faintest line of light on the horizon, and the awkward evening from the night before rushes back to me.
Fuck. I went straight to sleep and didn’t even check in with Rex. He’s going to fry my ass.
Even though the hour is truly ungodly, I text Rex immediately, apologizing for flaking out and letting him know I’m ready to talk about everything as soon as he wakes up. There are only a couple of missed calls and messages. It’s obvious the boys all knew I’d be hard to reach last night.
Some of the messages even seem teasing, as if they think I might have made up with Grace in an explosive way. I read the texts with mixed emotions, deciding I can’t even acknowledge the jokes, let alone reply.
Yeah, thanks, Brad. It did “blow my head off,” but not in the way you mean.
Sighing, I get up and go to the kitchen. Grace left the dishes in the sink just as I recommended, so I get to work cleaning up, being careful to do a good job.
I have no idea what’s going to happen today. The guys told me to talk to her. I was ready to do that, but she shut down on me. I can’t take another fight, and I can’t shake the feeling that she just doesn’t want to be here.
As I stack the dishes, I try to examine this thought a bit more closely.
Why is she here?
From what I’ve heard, she doesn’t have any reason to be loyal to the packs and isn’t even a wolf, so she can’t possibly have the pack bonding the rest of us do. There is a sense of duty in her that seems to go beyond caring for these people and obeying the orders of the other alphas.
My thoughts tangle this up with her long walks, both the recent ones and the hikes she took this way as a young girl. I don’t know why this would be connected, but my mind keeps coming back to it as I think about what motivated Grace to marry me.
And our old friend the snake. So much of this has to do with him.
My stomach growls fiercely, and I get out a frying pan and some bacon. I’m starving after yesterday, and I know that I’ll need a massive feed of protein to recharge for today.
Back out into pack building today. We almost have all our shops open, and the school. Life feels almost normal.
As I put the coffee on, I chuckle at that thought. To me, normal is waking up at five a.m. for drills and going out to a combat course for six hours. The idea of mingling with people as they open shops and assisting kids at school doesn’t feel normal in the slightest.
And doing all this “normal” with a big, bad, ancient spirit breathing down our necks. Really, the situation couldn’t get more fucked up.
Just like that, my mind bends, sending me down a horrific rabbit hole of memory. I have to lean on the counter, blinking hard as I try to clear my mind. The screams of my family and the roar of destruction ring through my soul, as well as the terrible helplessness I felt, the absolute horror thatmy entire world was being destroyed, and there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.
With practiced effort, I shove the thoughts back down into a deep memory hole, where I wish they’d stay. Turning on the burner, I toss some bacon into the pan. The sizzling sound and rich scent bring me back to reality.
Even though I try to keep my mind blank as I put on toast and find some eggs, my thoughts shove to the surface again. I manage to hold back the worst of my memories, but the one thing I can’t hide from is that it’s Grace’s magic that scares me, not the intimacy.
Being close to her is fucking terrifying. No question about that. But the magic… not just in her, but in me, literally running through my bones… it feels the same as—
The smell of smoke suddenly cuts through my thoughts, and I curse loudly as I grab a towel and swat at the flames in the frying pan. I’m still pounding desperately at the fire when Grace shoves me out of the way and waves her hands at the scorched mess.
The flames go out, and the smoke clears, truly like magic. I turn to look at Grace, and she glares at me, her arms crossed over her chest.
