“Yeah,” I laugh. “It’s pretty obvious. But I barely remember anything else. I joined the military when I was really young. Like, thirteen.”
“Were you even legally allowed to sign up, then?” she asks, surprised.
“No. But there was an option to the foster system, or an underage program at Wolf’s Shadow, and I chose the military.”
Grace looks thoughtful, and I can guess the questions that are running through her mind right now.
How did you end up there? What happened to your family?
My memory torments me, dredging up the screams of my dying parents and the fear that paralyzed me, preventing me from helping them. My sister’s cries for help flood my senses, and I shudder all the way to my bones.
“Let’s just start at Wolf’s Shadow for now,” I say, managing to keep my voice calm.
“Okay,” she replies, squeezing my hand.
“Whatever manners I learned as a kid went out the window once I joined the base,” I say. “I was one of the youngest kids there, and I threw myself into the routine. Even though we were on duty from six to six every day, I got up early to train and worked late running errands. I was just on the go, all the time, and I still kept my bunk made and my boots polished.”
“It’s hard to imagine you being so disciplined,” she says.
“No.” I shake my head. “It wasn’t discipline. I just needed to stay busy. You’re right that it looked like discipline, though. I started earning badges straight away, and I was given more physically demanding tasks. Early on, the commanders saw I had a talent for excelling in dangerous situations.”
“A strong heart,” she says, squeezing my hand again.
I chuckle. “That’s one way of putting it. I just didn’t feel a thing. It didn’t matter if I was jumping out of a plane or rappelling down a cliff; it just didn’t feel stressful to me at all.”
I look down into my lap, my heart aching a little as I think back over my early military days.
I wouldn’t say my heart is strong. It might just be that my head is stupid.
“After a while, they put me into weapons tech. I was already experienced in the most dangerous maneuvers known to man—or wolf. But when they introduced me to guns, I took to it like it was second nature.”
Grace’s hand tightens on mine, and I look over to see tension showing on her face. I realize that it might be my innate connection to violence that unnerves her, but there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it.
It’s her innate magic that scares me, so I guess that makes us even.
“Explosives were not so much my thing, but I did learn all the basics. Guns, though, I couldn’t get enough of them. And knives. As soon as I turned eighteen, I ran a few-day missions with the main troop, and I became a decorated soldier pretty much overnight. I felt like I’d found my place in the world. I never had to think. All I had to do was act.”
I want to go into more detail about my missions, but I can sense that she doesn’t want to know.
Let’s just go easy, then. Besides, I’m not keen on telling her my first few missions involved taking out some nasty black magic practitioners—and that I personally terminated most of them.
“When Rex joined a few years later, I was actually his superior. I had years of military experience by that point, and Rex, Shane, Brad, Marcus, and Luke were put under my command.”
“That’s interesting,” she says. “I can’t imagine Rex working for you.”
“They were all soft-handed little boys,” I laugh. “Damn, you should have seen them learning to sleep in the dirt and do ten-mile gear runs. I toughened them all up.”
“But Rex ended up as your superior officer?”
“Yeah,” I reply. “Rex is smart. And he just had the knack for undercover missions, which I definitely don’t. The six of us formed a bond, and when we were assigned units, I was happy that we were all put together.”
“And then you all retired together,” she says, smiling. “It must have been a relief for you.”
“Actually, no,” I say, feeling frustrated. “I wanted to go back to base. It’s the only home I’ve ever had. When the others took downtime or visited their families, I took on extra missions or trained up new recruits. When Rex retired, and the others chose to stay, I didn’t want to, but I also didn’t want to leave my buddies behind.”
I look away from Grace, feeling an ugly twist in my chest. I might have left them, if it wasn’t for the snake and the military operation staying here. While Sloan was still here, it was kind of like being on base, and I couldn’t leave my buddies at the mercy of that creature. They need me to watch their backs.
“So, you’re completely out of your comfort zone,” she says. “I think I understand now. You didn’t ask for any of this.”
