She looks so worried, I want to run straight over and hug her, but I just smile kindly instead.
“That’s perfectly alright. I’ll have a special prize for each of you, no matter what, and all I ask is that you give it a good try, okay?”
“Okay,” she answers, smiling shyly.
I don’t have any problem with awarding everyone for trying, no matter what other people think. The kid who won knows that they won, and they take victory with them. Everyone else deserves a reward for putting in their best effort. It will encourage them to keep showing up and work towards that win.
I put a couple of the older kids in charge and tell them to come and get me if anyone has any trouble, then I go back to the others.
“Hey, Curt,” I say. “Can you make sure we have some cakes and candy for later? I want to make sure all the kids get a reward for today.”
“Sure thing,” he replies. “I’ll make sure we have some cold drinks, too. Just let me go and check in with the girls.”
I watch him walk over to the women, and my eyes linger on Grace. When she looks up, and our eyes meet, I quickly turn away back to the kids.
I just want to forget about all of that for now. I can stress out about my marriage all night if it comes to that. This is the best distraction I could have asked for.
“Okay, kids,” I say, turning back to them. “We’re going to work on your coordination today. It will be the biggest help to you when it finally comes time to shift. Are you ready to play some games?”
The kids all shriek with excitement as I lead them out onto the field. They help me set up some poles and other obstacles, then we come up with creative ways to navigate the course and race through each one.
Curt joins us after he’s set up the treats and drinks for them, and he changes up the games a little. After a couple of hours, I’m surprised to see everyone improving in skill and speed, and my heart swells with pride.
I never thought I’d enjoy this so much. It makes me think about what it would be like to have one of my own…
I shy away from that thought, not wanting to torture myself further.
Grace and I would have to tolerate being in the same room together for at least a short period of time for that to happen.
The afternoon grows late, slanted shadows alerting me to the fact that night is swiftly coming. Parents arrive to pick up their kids, and all of us share some cakes, candy, and ice cream.
As they leave, most of the kids stop in to give me a personal goodbye, and when they reach their sticky fingers up to me, I happily hug them and congratulate them on their hard work.
“I have to thank you for this, Alpha Dan,” one of the women says. “I know that alphas have a big job to do, and it’s nice to see you interacting with the kids. It really makes them feel included in the pack.”
“No sweat,” I reply. “We’ll make this a weekly thing. I’ve enjoyed every minute of it.”
“That’s great,” she says, smiling. “Also, thanks for wearing them out. They’ll sleep very well tonight!”
We laugh together. Soon, I realize that the area has cleared out and it’s just me, Grace, and a couple of other women. She says goodbye to them and then turns to me, and it feels like a searchlight just picked me up out of dark scrub.
Why is she looking at me like that? Have I done something wrong without even trying?
“Ready to head home?” I ask, trying to keep my voice neutral.
She nods. “Sure, let’s go.”
She turns to walk away, and I follow her, wondering if I’ll always be a step behind. The good feelings from the day carry me along, and I don’t feel as confronted by her as I did before.
If we are really going to do this, we have to open up to each other. It can’t go on like this. Both of us will die of stress.
Instead of hurrying after her and trying to talk to her now, I let her walk ahead of me, my thoughts tumbling together as I think about what I need to say.
I’ll make every attempt to clear the air while we cook dinner together, but then I’m done tip-toeing around her. It’s time to ask the really hard questions.
Chapter 14 - Grace
The day was long and tiring, but as I walk home, my heart feels light. I spent the day with the other women, working on getting classrooms ready and opening some small shops.
