I nod, still not looking at him as I try to swallow without coffee pouring out of my nose.
“I’m fine,” I gasp, reaching for a napkin. “Coffee just went down the wrong way, that’s all.”
“Oh, good. I thought I’d done something wrong.”
“No, no. The coffee’s fine. It’s me that’s defective.”
I look up at him, and his blue eyes are dancing with mischief, as if he’d like to make a joke but isn’t sure if he should. I clear my throat and wipe my nose, making sure I’m fully recovered from my mishap.
Was it an accident, or did I have to almost drown myself to avoid thinking about ripping Dan’s clothes off?
“We should get going soon,” I say with sudden firmness. “The pack will be waiting. Thank you for breakfast.”
The light goes out of his eyes a little, but he just nods. “Sure. Just stack your plate up when you’re done; I’ll wash up later. We’ll get going as soon as you’re ready.”
The warmth going out of his eyes makes me feel a bit guilty, but I remind myself that it’s better this way.
It will only cause us so much more misery if we get close physically but can’t close the other gaps between us. This hurts, but it hurts less than giving in and living with regret.
Chapter 13 - Dan
As we walk into town, the sense of awkwardness between us doesn’t fade. I can’t cover my disappointment that this morning’s effort didn’t seem to make much impact.
She said she liked it. What do I need, a fucking parade?
Watching Grace walk a few steps ahead of me, I have to admit I was hoping for a little fanfare. I worked really hard to do something right, and it feels like she didn’t even notice.
What am I even trying to accomplish? Peace between us, or something else?
The question disturbs me, because I know damn well what I wanted. After a brief taste of having her in my arms, I’d hoped that making an impression on her would lead to something romantic.
Not even romantic—just some hot sex on the kitchen table. A kiss on the cheek. Fuck, I’d be overjoyed if she just held my hand for five seconds.
Grudgingly, I admit that getting her physically close to me isn’t likely to happen, especially after I basically assaulted her and didn’t even apologize. The thought leaves me with an ache of anxiety, and I want to catch up to her and say sorry right away.
Too late. If I couldn’t apologize last night or this morning, it would look ridiculous to do it now.
I also have to admit to myself that I don’t really want to talk about last night, and it looks like she doesn’t, either. I have no idea what was going on in her mind while our bodies were so close together, but it felt like she wanted to kiss me.
Maybe that’s just what I want. I have to be so careful. We have to live together and rule the pack for the rest of our lives. It would be unbearable if we had to do it as enemies.
An even worse thought occurs to me as I think about her running away or disappearing, and the ripple effect this would have through the other packs. Riverside might break up. If the people tried to go back to their old homes, it would create so much chaos; we’d be sitting ducks waiting for the snake to come and destroy us while we were busy fighting with each other.
I also can’t ignore my other thought from last night, when the idea drifted through my mind that Grace might be connected to the spirit somehow.
Do I really believe that?
I narrow my eyes as I watch her walking ahead, and she turns her head to look at me. Her cool gray eyes sparkle in the morning sun, and her lips curve in a little smile. She doesn’t look friendly towards me, but for the first time, she doesn’t look shut down or hostile, either.
Okay, no. I don’t believe she’s connected to the snake, but she is full of wild magic that scares the piss out of me.
I rub my arms a little, remembering the grip of the vines. The bruises have long since healed, but being yanked against the wall and pinned by a bunch of plants freaked me right out.
I knew Alisha was powerful, but I thought Grace didn’t have the same amount of strength. I don’t know anything about this stuff. That’s probably why it scares me so much.
My mind shies violently away from the trail those thoughts lead to. I can hear the screams of my family—mother, father, sister—far off in my memory. I had trouble falling asleeplast night, and when I finally did, I fell into the worst nightmares I’d ever had.
When my family was killed, I went straight into the military. It was the only way to save my sanity and maybe make sense out of what happened… and possibly find some kind of justice.
