"She loved horses," someone said behind me.
I turned to find an elderly woman in a simple dress standing in a doorway.Not the formal Grand Duchess I'd met before, but someone who looked like she'd been crying recently and hadn't bothered to fix her makeup.
My grandmother looked worse than she had during Viktor’s arrest.Like the weight of her title had physically pressed her down into something smaller.But her eyes were the same, sharp and assessing even as they filled with tears.
"Betty," she said."Thank you for coming."
"I needed to talk to you."
"I know.Come in, please."
Her private sitting room was nothing like the formal spaces where we'd first met.This was cozy, overstuffed chairs, warm lighting, more family photos covering every surface.A half-finished puzzle on a side table.A book marked with a ribbon.The room of someone who actually lived here instead of just ruling from here.
She gestured to a chair and lowered herself carefully into the one across from me.The movement was slow, painful.Old.
"You're ill," I said.
"I'm dying."She said it matter-of-factly, like announcing the weather."Pancreatic cancer.They gave me a year, maybe less.That was three months ago."
The words hit me like a physical blow."Does Archie know?"
"No one knows except my doctors and my chief advisor."She folded her hands in her lap."I wanted you settled before I told everyone.Wanted to know you'd be safe and provided for."
"So you lied to me about the marriage being temporary."The anger I'd been carrying for days rose up."You told me six months, knowing it was forever.You let me sign papers I didn't understand.You manipulated me into giving up my entire life."
"Yes."She didn't flinch from the accusation."I did all of that."
"Why?"
"Because I'm a desperate old woman who's lost everything that mattered, and I couldn't bear to lose you too."Her voice cracked."I lost your mother twenty years ago.Lost your father.Lost two decades of watching you grow up.And now I'm dying, and you're the only family I have left."She stopped, composing herself."I thought that you'd refuse if you knew the truth.That you'd walk away and I'd spend my last year alone, knowing my granddaughter was out there somewhere but not part of my life."
"So you took away my choice."
"Yes.And I'd apologize for it except I'm not actually sorry."She met my eyes."You're here.You're safe.You're going to be a queen someday, with resources and protection and a future that won't disappear because some man decides you're not worth keeping around.Was it manipulative?Absolutely.Was it wrong?Probably.Do I regret it?"She shook her head."Not even a little bit."
I stared at her, trying to reconcile this blunt honesty with the lies she'd told."You really think that's okay?Just deciding my life for me because you're dying?"
"No.I think it's morally questionable at best and emotionally abusive at worst.But I'm old and dying and I've spent twenty years regretting that I didn't protect my daughter better.I wasn't going to make that mistake with you."She leaned forward."You can hate me for it, Betty.You probably should.But I needed you to have security and status and the power that comes with being royal.Because the world is dangerous and cruel, especially to women, and I wanted you to be protected."
"I was protected.My parents protected me."
Pain flickered across her face."Tell me about your adoptive parents."
"Why?"
"Because I've spent twenty years wondering who raised my granddaughter.Who gave you the childhood I couldn't."Her voice broke."I need to know if you were loved."
The raw vulnerability in her voice made my anger falter.This wasn't a manipulative monarch.This was just an old woman who'd lost her daughter and was trying to understand what had happened to the granddaughter she'd never known.
"I was loved," I said."My parents are wonderful people.He's a high school teacher, she works at the library.We didn't have a lot of money, but we had enough.They took me to the ocean every summer, taught me to ride a bike, helped me with homework even when it was subjects they didn't understand."I smiled despite myself."Mom makes this terrible meatloaf that I pretended to like for years because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.And Dad tells the worst dad jokes in the history of humanity.He once spent an entire dinner making puns about bread.Just bread."
My grandmother was crying silently, tears streaming down her face.
"They threw me a surprise party for my sixteenth birthday even though we couldn't really afford it," I continued."Invited all my friends, made a cake from scratch, gave me this ridiculous tiara from the dollar store because I'd mentioned once that I liked sparkly things.They stayed up all night when I had the flu freshman year.They drove six hours to visit me at college even though gas was expensive.They're not perfect, but they loved me.They still love me."
"Thank you," she said."For telling me that.For letting me know she, that you, had a good life."
"Despite being kidnapped and having my entire identity stolen?"
