He wanted to know everything I’ve been doing since I left, of course I couldn’t say anything.
I told him we hunted down the bad guys and won. And a few other things that had nothing to do with what really happened.
When it was over, my captain squeezed my shoulder. “You did good, Marlow. Go home. Sleep.”
Home.
Right.
My home on the lake felt different the second I stepped through the door. I missed him.
It smelled like stale air and laundry detergent. The throw blanket was still half on the couch where I’d left it. A mug sat on the coffee table with a faint ring of dried coffee at the bottom.
I set my bag down and just stood there.
Waiting for something that wasn’t going to happen.
He’s in D.C., I reminded myself. Probably stuck in a windowless conference room. Probably being asked the same questions until his voice goes hoarse.
I wandered into the kitchen on autopilot, made coffee, and stared at the pot without drinking it.
My phone sat on the counter, silent.
Hours crawled.
I paced.
Checked the phone.
Sat down.
Stood back up.
Opened my laptop. Stared at the empty screen. Closed it.
At some point, the adrenaline crash hit. My hands shook. My heart pounded against my ribs like it wanted out.
The images I’d managed to hold at bay all day crashed over me at once—Reese’s face as the light took him. Hawk’s eyes when he said I belong to you. The look he’d given me at the ramp, like he was memorizing me just in case.
I sank to the kitchen floor, back against the cabinet, knees pulled up.
I didn’t sob.
The tears came quiet and stubborn, slipping hot down my cheeks, blurring the edges of my reality until the only thing I could feel was the ache of the empty space where Hawk should be.
I’d spent years building my life on being self-sufficient. On not needing anyone. On knowing how to stand alone when everyone else fell apart.
Now I’d gone and done the most dangerous thing a person like me could do.
I’d given someone the power to leave.
My phone buzzed.
I jumped like I’d been shot, scrambling for it.
Unknown secure number.
My heart rocketed.
