“Show me,” I whisper.
He ignores me, still rubbing his face against me.
“I want to know,” I say, this time practically begging. “Show me it’s you.”
I need to know for sure… I need to know it’s him.
He reaches his hand up, grasping at the mask at the back of his head. He pulls back just a few inches, and tears the mask off. My mouth drops open in a silent scream because I’m met with nothing but swirling darkness where his face should be.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Sailor
Night reaches me before I know it. Surprisingly, I’m not nervous—I’m excited. Eager. I’m thrilled to turn this game around on him and see what the outcome is. I feel like a child on the way to a theme park, ready to enjoy all the fun that’s about to happen.
That’s what Jaxon and I have… fun. Among many other things, of course.
I’m not entirely sure why I needed this break from him… I think I just needed to get my head on right and figure things out. That happens in normal relationships, never mind in our whirlwind of one. There were parts of me that I was holding back, that I was still afraid of, and being accepted by my friends has helped me realize that it’s okay to be me. Knowing there is support out there helps too. Maybe that’s what I needed all along… support from someone else. From more people.
For more than just my own validation, I needed to look back and work through everything that happened. I needed to figure out if I was okay with what Jaxon did on my own, instead of him trying to convince me of it.
I’m not sure that I forgive Jaxon for what he did, but I am grateful that he saved me. I still believe he didn’t have to kill Mindy, but I do believe thathebelieved he had to. And that means something. If he feels it was necessary, then I will trust him on that. I don’t know that world like he does, so even though it’s scary, it’s worth it. Because I’ll have him, and I’ll have him to protect me.
It’s raining heavily outside, but thankfully it isn’t too cold. I dress in leggings and the sweatshirt I stole from his closet and have a quick snack before heading out to my car. We’re meeting for eleven, and my plan is to get there for 10:30. I’m sure he will be there already, watching and waiting in the shadows for me to arrive. That’s his MO. I know without him admitting it, because I know him.
Shadow sent me a message a few hours ago letting me know he was on his way… I’m going to make him feel so bad for lying to me. I get why he’s doing it, but it’s still a lie… and he told me he never did that.
Though, I didn’t outright ask him if he was Jaxon, and I know what he’ll say if I call him out on it.
I wasn’t lying to you… Shadow was.
He’d have me there. Unfortunately, I get the logic. I’m not mad about it, but I still plan to use it against him in the best way possible.
The drive is quick, and I end up in the parking lot ten minutes earlier than I planned. I drive slowly around the potholes, my wipers on top speed because the rain is coming down in buckets. Thunder rolls in the distance, and I’m sure lightning will show any moment. I don’t think this night could be more perfect.
There are no other cars in the lot, but I park in the far back, beneath an overgrown tree that hides my car, partly in case cops come cruising through. Maybe they won’t see it. Or maybe wewill get arrested for trespassing. Or maybe I will, because I can’t be certain Jaxon is here yet.
At least, I’m not certain until I get out of the car and feel eyes on me.
I look around, but there’s nothing but darkness and rain. Even with my phone as a flashlight, I can hardly see two feet in front of me.
I rush toward the door, water splashing beneath my boots, my hood doing nothing to keep the rain away. I make it inside, through the broken door, to the bottom floor of the warehouse. It smells musty, like mold,dirt, and earth.
The rain echoes around the room, and a loud crack of thunder has me flinching. I’ve never been afraid of storms; I embrace them. Always have. They’re a comfort to me. The rain clouds take away the light, giving me a place to hide. The thunder booms loudly, hiding my sound. And the lightning flashes, letting me see just a little, so I know when it’s safe to come out. Storms are like a blanket for me.
I walk deeper, pulling the flashlight from my pocket and turning it on before turning off my phone and shoving it into my pocket.
This light allows me to see much further away. I slowly scan the room and see nothing but dirty, broken equipment. All the windows are smashed, and glass litters the ground, along with small puddles from the rain getting in.
I spot the stairs from here, and walk that way, holding my chin high to hold onto my bravery. It’s not that I’m scared, but this is intimidating. Being in this abandoned building in the dark, all alone… anything could happen. I don’t know what lies ahead.
But knowing that Jaxon is close is enough to have me putting one foot in front of the other.
I pass machinery that is older than me and has been in unworking order for just as long, it seems. The conveyor beltshave inches of dust and grime, and the loom machinery is broken, its pieces scattered along the floor. This mill, like many, is abandoned and left to rot.
When I reach the stairs, I walk up them slowly, not sure where I am going, but just trusting my gut. Where would Jaxon go?
He wouldn’t be on the first floor because that’s too easy. Same for the top floor. That would take too much time for me to find. So I turn off at the second floor, wanting to explore. He’d choose this or the third, and something tells me he’s on the floor above me.
