But how much longer would we get to stay?
Could I stand to stay in town after Cash had been the one responsible for bulldozing Perk Up & Read down?
It felt like the loss of my coffee shop would shatter my heart into a million pieces.
And as for Frankie? What did I feel for him? Could I ever truly forgive him? Or trust him again?
After that city council meeting, I knew Cash and I could never be on the same page. He was driven, ambitious, had big dreams in life. About making it in the big city. The dreams I had were about my neighborhood and small town, and all of us being happy and prospering, making good money while staying connected and looking out for each other. There was one man who felt the same way and it wasn’t Cash. . .
I heard footsteps behind me, and Ifelthim.
“You stupid idiot,” I said coldly. “You ruined everything.”
He sat down behind me.
“I know I did.”
“You have the fucking gall to ruin everything with your itchy penis and then, even worse, you won’t give up. You won’t go away.”
“No,” he said in a low voice. “I won’t give up on us, Jillian.”
I turned to face him dead in the eyes. How was I supposed to know if he was really in this for better or worse?
“It’ll never be like it was, Frankie,” I said. “What you did can’t be undone. We can never go back to what it was before.Never.Do you understand me?”
I held his eyes, that bright unusual green color, the golden lowlights flickering at me. . .
He nodded, and his eyes filled with tears, his lips twisting in pain.
“I k-know,” he said, his voice breaking.
“Even if Ididgive you another chance and accepted your apology, I might never fully forgive you. That resentment might never fully go away. I might never trust you again. You’d have to live with that.”
He swallowed and cleared his throat, the tears spilling out, dripping down his cheeks now.
“I accept that.” His voice broke again, came out high and reedy.
“Wouldn’t you rather find a woman you can start a fresh slate with?” I demanded.
“No,” he answered instantly. “The only woman I want is you. I’m so sorry. It was my mistake. I didn’t realize how precious my own life was until I fucked it all up. Spoiled stupid rich boy who couldn’t resist the world revolving around him. That was me.”
“Yeah,” I said.
“I’m just here begging for a second chance. Please let me make it right.”
“I have a baby with another man,” I said, watching his eyes. “I’ve moved on and I can move on again.”
He didn’t blink.
“Give me another chance. I will love her like my own. She’ll always know how much I love her mother.”
I didn’t answer him.
“You were right about Cash,” I said, looking down the shore. “He let his ambition get away from him and twist him into something I don’t recognize.”
Blue woke up, blinking those big green eyes at me, and the sun caught the lowlights, the gold a sparkle in each one. She waved chubby hands in the air as the breeze on Ramshackle Bay spun her curls around.
She buried her fingers in the sand, squealing with glee.
