What if she never believed me?
CHAPTER 20
Jillian
Baby Blue clapped her hands excitedly as I put chopped-up fruit on a tray in front of her. I was so lucky to be able to run the coffee shop and see her so much.
And it was all due to my wonderful neighbors. Between Mrs. Greenberg, Bonnie, Ronnie, Jeremy, and Mari, we all traded helping each other out and watching Blue.
I felt huge confidence and excitement for the future. Business had been good in Ramshackle Bay.
Bonnie and Ronnie were even thinking of renovating one of the old run-down manor houses outside the town center and making it into another bed & breakfast because Mari was always booked for months in advance now.
Everything was pretty peachy in my world. The most adorable baby, business was booming, I could hire help, friends and neighbors who loved me, dating the hottest and most powerful man in town. . .
My eyes fell down to my empty fourth finger as I poured milk into a sippie cup.
If everything was so perfect. . why couldn’t I commit to Cash?
He was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, phenomenal in bed, and couldn’t stop asking me to marry him. Gently at first. Then with curiosity. And recently with downright anxiety.
When would I be ready to commit?
After all, as soon asFranklin J. Davenportfinally agreed to stop fighting this divorce, I could marry Cash. We had a child together, a baby I loved more than anyone else in the world.
So what was keeping me from wanting to marry him?
Cash was a good man. He was a very good mayor for our town. Diligent, thoughtful. Unfailingly kind to me. So what held me back?
Mari came in with her hands outstretched to take Blue. She’d nap over at the Pemberley B&B in a crib while Mari did her mid-afternoon paperwork.
I had the best neighbors. The best town.
After they were gone, I stirred my cup of lavender tea idly.
To accept Cash’s proposal or not?
Actually, I was sick of going back and forth in my own mind about this. Maybe I needed to just do it, accept Cash’s ring. Maybe I was just overthinking it, scared of commitment because my previous marriage hadn’t worked out.
This was definitelynotabout Frankie.
I was going to be absolutelythrilledto get rid of Frankie, and I wanted to strangle him for how many excuses he had come up with for dragging out this divorce.
First he insisted he couldn’t find his birth certificate. Or his driver’s license. Or we needed to catalogue every single item in the house.
At first it was annoying. Then, as the weeks dragged on, it was downright infuriating.
It was definitely going to be good to finally be rid of him.
This was more about the feeling I’d had when I was together with Frankie—before I knew he was a disgusting worm. That was the feeling I didn’t quite get with Cash, and I didn’t know why.
Cash was taller, bigger, more muscular, handsomer.
It was true that he didn’t necessarily have, if I wanted to be nit-picky, the world’s best sense of humor.
But I was 32 years old. Maybe I needed to finally grow up. We didn’t have to like all the same things, or laugh at all the same things.
Should I do this for Blue?
