Emotionally, those walls are up. Perhaps even higher than mine tonight.
“Any news from James Taylor?” I ask her.
She shakes her head. “Not since his last unprovoked visit.”
I wheel the spare office chair forward and tell her to sit.
She does, hesitatingly.
“I know we’re not on the best terms, but I’ll still look out for you,” I say.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I don’t want to see you prosecuted, Piper. You have Sonny to raise.”
“But I did what I did.”
“If it’s any consolation, James Taylor is going to have a fucking hard time trying to piece together the evidence.”
“I don’t know about that.” Piper rolls her eyes. “He’ll dig through every speck of ash until he finds his evidence.” Her eyes zero in on mine, illuminated from the computer monitor. “I was just trying to pull some extra cash together for Sonny. He was outgrowing his clothes. Most of them had holes in them.”
“There are other ways to?—”
“Get clothes. Yes, but that only occurred to meafterthe fire when Jess lent me some. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“You’ve only ever known how to rely on yourself.” I watch her closely. “That’s why it never occurred to you to reach out for help before.”
Her eyebrows bunch together in confusion, like she never considered this before.
“Your father. It sounded like he never wanted to help you out much. You’ve grown resilience. Perhaps too much.”
Piper tenses up. “The fire got way out of control.” She glances over her shoulder and makes sure that the kids aren’t behind her.
I shoot off the chair and close the door. But as soon as I shut it, I’m stalled by the intimacy. My study isn’t exactly very big.
I flick on a lamp and try to act normal before Piper catches on.
Of course it has to shine right across her face.
“Tell me what happened.”
“I was searching the web…” she says.
Never a good start.
“I came across some shady consulting site, giving advice about how to get money through insurance fraud. Everything the man was telling me sounded reasonable, like it would be quick and easy. Safe. So I went ahead with it, boiled some sunflower oil… It was meant to be just the stove—you have to know that I never meant for it to get out of hand.”
“That’s usually how it goes.”
“I would never deliberately burn down my whole house, and destroy Sonny’s home.”
“No, of course not.” I stare at my hands because I can’t bear to look into her eyes. They’re too mesmerizing tonight. “But fires tend to get out of control.” I clench my jaw, unsure about this next part. Us being alone in this room is the reason why my morals are slipping. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean for it to happen. I don’t think you’re a bad person.” I feel inclined to find her eyes so she knows I mean that.
She holds my gaze, but her eyes are watery. “Sonny and I had just come back from vacation when I did it.” She tilts her head, evaluating her own thoughts. “I was sad. Every time I come back from a vacation, or every time someone I know leaves town, I get this same sad feeling in my stomach. There’s an entire world out there waiting to be explored, only I can’t afford to explore it.” She grimaces. “God, I sound like such a victim. But Sonny deserves the world, and I want us both to go and see it. There’s more to life than just Maple Crossing.”
“I can assure you,” I say, taking a seat again, “the world is not as wide as you think it is. And Maple Crossing is the best place I’ve ever visited.” I’m careful with my words. Accidentally telling her that she was the best thing about this town will turn this conversation complicated. “I was living in what newspapers like to refer to as ‘the greatest city in the world,’ and I still chose to bring my daughter here. Trust me when I tell you this—the world sucks. Maple Crossing does not.”
Piper looks down at her hands and starts to pick at the skin around her nails.
