I turn at the next intersection, gripping the steering wheel extra hard. “We could’ve worked out how to tell Sonny together. As parents.” The word punches me in the ribs. Us. Parents. Officially. We’ve been living under one roof as a family for the past month and I never knew. “I understand your hesitationwith him. You want to tell him in the right way, at the right time—I get that. But I deserve to know who my son is.”
She hitches her arms higher up on her chest and turns her head into the side window.
I have one eye on the road and one on her. A tear falls down her face. I see it in the reflection of the window, and she subtly wipes it away, covering up a sniffle that she also fails to hide from me.
I love this woman with every ounce of my being, but this feels like a betrayal. Granted, it’s a justified one, and she was protecting herself for good reason. But I have been down this road before, kept from my own child.
The silence weighs more than the fucking news that has just been dropped. When we arrive home, I open her door, let her out, and jump back in the truck to drop the thing off.
“I’ll see you tonight,” I tell her.
She nods, heading to Grace’s to collect the kids.
Both of which are biologically mine.
I restart the engine and return to the station. Ryan will be pissed to find out that I stole a truck, but I see what happened today as an emergency.
I roll down the windows, relying on the soft afternoon breeze to sort me out. Catching a breath of fresh air is easier here than it was in Long Island. It was the reason I came out here in the first place, to clear my head, although I don’t know how much that’s gonna work this time, seeing as Piper and I are way past complicated.
The reality of our relationship is really quite simple. We’re parents in love. Everything else should work itself out.
I inhale the pine-scented air and wonder if I overreacted. She and I have both kept secrets from one another. The only reason I blew up about the news is because the past is repeating itself, and ever since being a part of Ellie’s life, all I’ve ever wanted is to put Holly’s betrayal behind me.
Certain past events just have a way of staying with me, like the time I rescued myself from that fire.
That’s exactly what I’m doing now—thinking of myself.
Her decision to keep this from me was rational. We both think with the past in mind. I can’t blame her there.
I pull into the station and await my beating from Ryan. There’s nothing he can say to hurt me. I might leave here with no job, but that loss is much less catastrophic than the one I nearly faced today.
“Evening,” I greet, stepping out of the vehicle.
Ryan looks like he’s ready to grill the fuck out of me. “First parking in the ambulance bays, now this?”
“I was in a panic trying to find Piper, and these babies”—I hit the truck—“don’t get pulled over for speeding.”
“You must really love this woman if you’re willing to risk your job for it.” He scratches his head and looks at me sideways. “I heard today that there’s reports of a gang hitman on the loose. Care to tell me about that?”
“It’s a very long story that a busy man won’t have time to hear, but I’m sure it will be in the local newspaper tomorrow for you to read.”
“Your badge will have to be confiscated for the time being.”
Expected.
“But if it was down to me, I’d say you earned it.”
I hitch an eyebrow.
He continues. “Of course, you must understand that I have certain protocols to fulfill as station manager. You’ll need to take unpaid leave for at least a couple of months while I sort out a few things.” His eyes have some depth to them, which I quite like. “You are a good officer, Rourke, and I will persuade my superiors to get you back in the station as soon as possible.” He takes a step forward and does the unimaginable—places his hand on my shoulder. Like we’re old friends. “You’re a good person. And good people sometimes have to cross legal boundaries in order to win.” He pats me on the shoulder and sends me on my way, causing a very confusing, but clarifying walk back home.
The sun is setting by the time I make it back, and Sonny and Ellie are both out in the yard—Ellie cartwheeling, Sonny kicking a soccer ball back and forth with his mother.
My heart bursts with pride, and a flurry of other emotions burst through the seams, contributing to my smile. It’s so wide that I feel it splitting open my face.
“Dad!” Ellie calls, regaining her balance after a cartwheel. “You’re back just in time for the lasagna.”
I lick my lips performatively. “Lasagna, you say?” I lift her up into the air.
