I couldn’t stop the single tear that fell, as his blue eyes looked over me, frantic with worry. I would miss those eyes. But I needed to do this.
“Don’t follow me. Don’t call me. I need space.”
With that, I grabbed the suitcase and rolled it behind me, leaving Jeremiah in a stunned silence.
Chapter 48
Jeremiah
Istayed in Sadie’s bedroom until the sky began to change from blue to pink, casting a colorful glow across the wooden floor of the room I had made for her. I knew from the look in her eyes as she left and the way her voice shook, that this would not be the time to go after her like the time before. Instead, I sank to the cool floor and leaned my head against the white duvet that still smelled like her.
When I got home from the interview, I hadn’t expected this. I thought we would order our favorite takeout and celebrate on the couch. Maybe that right there was the problem. I wanted to celebrate by holing up here in my penthouse, rather than go out in the city. I ran my hands over my face frustratedly as I let out a deep sigh.
I was an idiot to think what I said in that interview wouldn’t have hurt Sadie. We had never talked aboutus.Despite not knowingwhat to call her, and her not knowing what to call herself, I knew we were more than I had experienced in my lifetime. A bachelor by trade, with a black book of women I had slept with, it had never led to anything like what I had with Sadie.
Hell, she lived with me. She was the mother of my unborn baby.
And it wasn’t just the fact that she was pregnant that I wanted to be with her. It wasn’t an obligation. A responsibility. It was because shesawme. My highs and lows. My faults. I had never opened up to anyone the way I had with her. And through it all, she stayed. She continued to hold my hand. To laugh at my stupid jokes. To touch my face in only the way she could, to comfort me. To get lost in the throes of passion with me.
We’d had our ups and downs. I thought I had lost her plenty of times before this, but we always found our way back to each other. And it was almost always because Ididhave my head up my ass. Both our stubbornness clashed like a damn car accident, but eventually one of us softened.
This time, I wasn’t so sure.
As the dwindling sunlight on the floor of her bedroom began to change to purple, I peeled myself from the floor. I took another look at her room, closing the door before its emptiness could envelop me.
The apartment was loud with silence as I walked down the hallway. I half-hoped to see her in her usual spot on the couch with that growing smile on her face when a new pregnancycraving hit. But the corner was empty, her favorite blanket folded neatly on the back of the plush, cream couch.
I couldn’t stay there. And I couldn’t go after her.
I need space.
I grabbed my keys from the entryway table and walked out the door, closing it gently behind me. I hit the button for the elevator and took it a few floors down. I had no idea if Kevin was home, or if he was off in Africa photographing a herd of elephants from the back of a Jeep. As I knocked on his door, I hoped he would answer. I needed my friend to give me his no-bullshit advice, even if it hurt.
When no one answered the door, I leaned in closer. I could hear people talking. The TV blaring. I knocked again, rapping my knuckles harder against the white door.
I heard footsteps on the other side and an annoyed, “I’m coming.”
Kevin opened the door and looked at me, his annoyance fading from his face. “Jeremiah! What’s up, man?” he asked with a grin that lit up his hazel eyes.
I looked past him and saw there was a group of guys huddled around the TV, all wearing jerseys and watching football. They hadn’t noticed the interruption as they sipped on their beers and yelled at the screen as if the players could hear them. I neverunderstood that. Then again, I didn’t really have time to watch sports.
“Ah, shit. You’re busy,” I said, jamming my hands in my pockets sheepishly. “I’ll just catch you later.”
“Nonsense.” He waved me off, and opened the door wider. “The game’s almost over. We’re about to play poker. Thousand-dollar buy in.” He winked.
As much as gambling sounded like a good distraction from what happened today with Sadie, I wasn’t in the mood. Not wanting to put a damper on Kevin’s night, I feigned a smile and came up with some excuse to leave.
“Nah. I have plans,” I lied. “I just came down to see if you had any milk…”
The words sounded so stupid as they came out of my mouth, but it was all my jumbled brain could think of.
“Milk, huh?” asked Kevin, raising his brow.
“Yeah. I’ll just go to the corner store. Sorry to bother you.” I laughed softly before turning to go.
“Hold on,” he called after me.
Confused, I watched as he closed the door. I heard voices inside and several footsteps. Soon, the door opened, and the three guysfrom the couch walked out looking annoyed. They walked past me, mumbling under their breath.
