I shook my head, looking at the paper cup I held, its warmth seeping into my hands. I felt the tears burn the back of my eyes, but tried hard to blink them back.
“I thought so too, but every time things get back on the right track, he derails us again.”
“What is it this time?” asked Erica, her lips pulling into a slight scowl of disapproval.
“He was always intending on keeping me and the baby a secret. Not just now, but even after the baby is born.”
“But youlivewith him. He asked you to move in. You’re sharing a home, building a life. I don’t get it.”
“He’s scared of the scandal. What it will do to his business. His reputation.”
“Because being a father is career-ending.” Erica rolled her eyes.
“He seems to think so when he’s the father of his gold-digging assistant.” My voice broke, remembering his words, and the tears flowed into quiet sobs.
Erica frantically grabbed napkins from the dispenser on the table and handed them to me.
“He didnotsay that,” she said shocked.
I nodded. “Aren’t I though?” I threw my hands up in the air. “I live in his penthouse rent-free and let him buy me clothes and all the things the baby needs. I mean, he’s not far off…”
I started second-guessing myself, even though my intentions were never to take anything from Jeremiah. I just wanted to be with him, and believed him taking care of me was his way of showing he was ready for a family.
“Stop that,” said Erica firmly as I dabbed at my eyes with a napkin.
She gave me a moment to get myself together, watching me carefully.
“How did you and Marco figure it all out?” I asked.
Erica took a sip of her latte, looking thoughtful before she looked back to me.
“It took us a while, you know. Our situation was different. I kept our baby a secret fromhimbecause I was scared. But the truth eventually came out, as it always does, and we had to work through our shit. We had our own baggage we carried, but we realized we loved each other enough, and our baby enough, to make it work.”
I nodded, taking another sip of tea. It seemed so easy for them, but I was there when she was going through it. I knew it was anythingbuteasy. Erica had gone through her own hell, but she found her happy ending. It was hard to believe the same thing could happen for me and Jeremiah. Lightning didn’t strike twice.
“I know you’re hurting,” said Erica softly. “But I also know how badly you wanted the whole happy family thing with him. Maybe it’s not over yet. Take some time. Think it through.”
“Yeah,” I murmured, feeling more confused than ever.
“You know I’ll support you either way, and your baby is already so loved by me and Auntie Gabrielle. We’ve got you, Sadie.”
She reached across the table and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. I gave her a thankful look just as her phone buzzed on the table.
“Shit,” she said, picking it up and glancing at the screen. “I’m needed back at the paper.”
“Go, go.” I waved her off.
“You sure?”
“Yes. I’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” she said, standing. She rounded the table and gave me a big hug. “Thanks for the coffee. Call me later.”
I gave her a reassuring smile and watched her grab her jacket and purse before weaving between the wooden tables toward the exit of the coffee shop. I felt better. I took a deep, shaky breath, determined to figure this whole thing out. I grabbed my tea and made my way toward the door. I hailed a cab and took it to Central Park, finding the same park bench where I had watched the ducks.
I was relieved to find it empty and settled against the sun-soaked bench, the wood warm against me. There were no ducks in sight, which made me feel even more alone. But that was why I was here. To be alone with my thoughts. And my tears apparently because they began to fall again. I silently let them, holding my head in my hands.
I felt the bench creak as someone sat next to me. Embarrassed, I quickly wiped my tears away before lifting my head. I sucked in a breath when I saw Anderson sitting next to me, staring straight ahead at the lake. What the hell was he doing here? A wave of fear washed over me, thinking back to Jeremiah’s warning.
