“Always,” I assured her. I was not going anywhere. I gently squeezed her hand.
Just then, Doctor Lambert and the same nurse came in. I felt comfort in knowing she was here, and had seen us through the whole pregnancy so far. I knew Sadie felt safe with her. I did too.
“Looks like this baby is eager to meet you two,” Doctor Lambert smiled as she pulled on her latex gloves. She gave the nurse some instructions and pulled a stool up to the foot of the bed, instructing Sadie to scooch down slightly. I helped adjust her before my hand found hers again, interlacing our fingers together.
The next hour was a blur. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, except my senses felt everything. My ears were full of Sadie’s labored breaths and groans, and the doctor’s coaxing. My hand was sore and clammy from Sadie’s tight grip, as my other hand stroked her hair gently. I watched her in awe as she gritted her teeth, and pushed her feet against the bed, giving every push her all.
“Breathe,” I said soothingly, running the tips of my fingers across her damp forehead. “You’ve got this, babe.”
She looked up at me unsure, her red face in pure agony as another contraction hit her, sending a tremble through her body. I felt helpless in that moment, wanting to take her pain away. But I stayed as calm as I could and smiled down at her proudly.
“You’ve got this,” I repeated more adamantly. “Keep your breathing steady. Your voice low. Don’t tense up.”
She nodded and gritted her teeth as the contraction rolled through her.
“Just think of it like a hill. You’re almost on the other side of it.”
She let out a throaty scream as she closed her eyes, and squeezed my hand until it was numb.
“Push, Sadie,” the doctor coaxed.
“We’re so close to meeting our baby,” I said softly, leaning in to kiss her forehead. I kept my face close to hers as the doctor told her to push again. Sadie screamed again and her whole body tensed as she pushed before collapsing back onto the bed breathlessly. She had done it. The doctor smiled as she looked up at us.
“It’s a baby girl!” she exclaimed loudly.
Sadie let out a loud sob as she buried her face against mine. My eyes immediately welled with tears and I sobbed right alongside her, kissing her through the salty tears.
“You did it, babe. You did it. I’m so proud of you,” I said against her lips.
Seconds later, a shrill cry filled the room, and we both turned to watch as the doctor lifted our baby girl into her arms, wrapping her gently in a blanket. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard, and then I saw the most beautiful thing I had ever seen when the doctor carefully walked our baby girl over to us, placing her in Sadie’s arms. She was the most incredible thing I had ever laid eyes on.
“Oh,” I breathed out shakily as I took her all in. Her small fingers and toes. Her tuft of auburn hair. Her little lips. Her tiny nose. She was beautiful, just like her mother.
Perfect. Just perfect.
Sadie looked down at her in the same disbelief, clutching her to her bare skin and crying quietly as she kissed the top of her delicate head. These were my girls. My life. My world. Right here in this room.
As I looked down at our baby girl, I promised that I would always take care of her. Always protect her. Always be by her side.
Always.
Chapter 59
Sadie
Iwoke up to the small gurgles and coos coming from the bassinet next to me. I smiled as I opened my eyes to find our newborn daughter lying swaddled in a white and pink blanket. I sat up in bed groggily and reached for her, pulling her into my arms. Her eyes were shut tight, but her mouth opened and closed in what looked to be a gummy smile.
“Hi, Ayah,” I whispered as I took in her little face.
Her eyes fluttered slightly until they closed again. I shook my head. I was in complete awe of her. She had little bits of me and Jeremiah in her perfect, heart-shaped face. I trailed my fingers gently over the fuzz of her head. She cooed softly and nuzzled against my skin.
I looked around the dimly lit room and saw Jeremiah sleeping soundly beside me in bed. It had been our first night home sincebeing released from the hospital that previous morning. It felt good to be home. With Ayah. With him. He had been right. We were having a girl, and now she was here in my arms.
I smiled at him and the way his lips every so often pulled into a smile. I wondered what he was dreaming about. I looked back down at Ayah, who wriggled slightly in her swaddled blanket before settling in again. It felt surreal to hold her, as I looked at the man I loved next to us. This had been everything I wanted. It almost felt too good to be true, had we not gone through everything we had.
Jeremiah seemed to be made to be a dad. The way he talked me through labor, never letting go of my hand. I could feel his love through the immense amount of pain I experienced with every contraction. Every push. He was right there beside me through it all. It was like he had read some sort of baby book on how to do everything perfectly.
He had done most of the diaper changes when we were in the hospital and here at home. He did a better job than me, expertly securing the tabs. He had helped me shower in the large walk-in of our master bath when my legs felt like they might give out on me, washing my hair tenderly. I was still so tired and sore from giving birth. The doctor told me I would be for a few days, if not the better part of a week.
