“Perfect,” I murmured, flipping her onto her back with a controlled roll of my hips. “My plan is working.”
I caught her mouth in a kiss, stealing whatever distance she’d thought she could keep between us. Her lips parted instantly, hungry, familiar, and I swallowed her small sound of surrender. Her fingers threaded in my hair, tugging, pulling me closer, while my palm slid beneath her shirt, mapping warm skin I couldn’t get enough of. She tasted like mint and something sweeter I couldn’t name.
“Kreed,” she murmured between kisses, breath fanning against my lips, “do you really think this is the best idea?”
“Us having sex?” I dragged my mouth along her jaw, nipping lightly. “It’s the best idea I’ve had all day. I can’t stop thinking of you even when I want to. So yes, this is a fucking great idea.”
She rolled her eyes though her fingers toyed with my hair. “Cute, but I meant involving Jesse.”
I let my forehead drop to her collarbone with a groan. “Why are we talking about him when I’m kissing you?” The last thing I wanted to do was dredge up this again. She didn’t like using Jesse, and I couldn’t see an alternative. It was a subject we wouldn’t agree on, and fighting with her was the last thing I wanted when my body was buzzing to possess hers.
“Are you jealous?” she teased, brushing her thumb over my cheekbone.
“I’m jealous of anyone before me,” I confessed, lifting my head enough to meet her gaze. “Anyone who knew your laugh before I did. Anyone who touched you. Kissed you.”
Her expression softened, the teasing slipping away. “You don’t have any reason to be jealous, you know. Turns out I have a very specific type. And there’s only one of him.”
My heart dropped and climbed into my throat at the same time. “Do you trust Jesse?” I asked before I could stop myself.
She stilled. “I used to.”
My jaw flexed. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes.” Her voice was steady this time, carving straight through the worry lodged in my chest.
“There’s your answer, little raven. Rusty hurt you. He took you from me. I need to finish this for both our sakes as quickly as possible.”
She put her teeth on her bottom lip as she contemplated, and I ran my thumb just under her lip, unable to stop from being pulled in by her pout.
“Of course, you don’t have to do this,” I told her. “If you’re having doubts, you can go to the police in the morning. They’ll get him eventually because he can only hide for so long, but the longer you stay silent, the braver he becomes.” This route went against my desire to destroy Rusty, was far less satisfying, and wouldn’t give my hands the craving to hurt him, but it was less messy and safer for her.
She turned so her forehead rested against the line of my jaw. “Do you think I should go to the police?”
“I know what I can live with,” I said. “I know what I can sleep with at night. It’s you I’m worried about. This isn’t something you can forget. It stays with you. But I think you know that already with what happened with your parents. Let me handle Rusty. You’ve been through enough.”
Her gaze lifted. “I need to see it done with my own eyes. I think it’s the only way my brain will register that this nightmare is over. It’s the only way I can move on.”
Her need to witness it was a feeling I understood. The world didn’t stop until the monster was standing in front of you with no mask left to hide behind. But there were things I couldn’t bear for her to see.
I tucked her against me. My biggest fear when this was over was she wouldn’t look at me the same. She wouldn’t love me.
Could I live with that?
In theory, my head told me yes if it meant she was finally able tobreathe, finally able to live her life without looking over her shoulder, finally safe.
But it was all a lie. I’d never be able to let her go. In a way, I was like Rusty. Neither of us could release her.
The difference…I was fucking determined to win.
23
KAYLOR
Ihad been pretending to be productive for the better part of an hour. My laptop screen glowed in Kreed’s dimly lit room, notes scattered in what appeared to be a neat, organized halo around me but were actually completely useless. My focus was shot. I kept seeing Jesse’s face, his words going round and round in my head.
And the damn profoundly quiet house wasn’t helping. I needed noise to override my thoughts. Kreed had left twenty minutes ago for one of his runs. At least one of us was clearing our heads. I was slightly jealous. I had nothing like that, nothing I could lose myself in except for Kreed, which couldn’t be healthy.
A shadow crossed the doorway. Maddox sauntered into the room, and the mattress dipped as he collapsed onto the opposite side of the bed, settling in alongside me. “Where is everyone?” he asked, kicking his long legs out. His dark hair was slightly damp as if he’d just showered, and he smelled like body wash and trouble.
