The sound of dripping water plagues my memories. I thrash and try to pull my hands out of the handcuffs. I have to break the ties on my legs. I can't breathe. I can't get enough air. I am dying of thirst. I need water. I need…
“Scarlett!” comes a surprised voice. “Sweetheart, it’s me.”
I keep thrashing and hitting, and kicking, and punching, and trying to get away. I keep pulling, scraping, scratching, and kicking. I have to escape.
“Beckett!” I scream. “Where’s the baby?”
Beckett shakes me awake, and I stare at him wide-eyed. His face is covered in welts and bloody scratches, and I think I gave him a black eye.
“I’m sorry,” I say as tears heat my eyes.
Chapter Nineteen
Beckett
Scarlett has a bad dream and wakes up attacking me. I was asleep, sound asleep, and I am startled awake by claws on my face. She is a strong little thing. Before I manage to wake her up, she clocks me in the eye and rips out several chunks of my skin. My face feels like someone raked it with razors.
These have been some of the most harrowing days of my life. I almost lost her. I put everyone in jeopardy by refusing to murder potentially millions of people; however, I almost lost the one person who is beginning to matter to me. Losing Scarlett would also mean that the only other person I’ve fallen in love with in my life, little Rayne, would be raised without a mother, and somehow that seems more tragic.
“I’m sorry,” she says, crying.
I stare into those deep blue eyes, all glossy with tears, and my heart breaks again. “No,I'msorry.” I kiss her forehead. “I’m the reason you were kidnapped.” She looks at me with unblinking eyes.
I have decided that there will be no secrets between us. I am going to tell her what we are up against. This is the only way I can make sure she remains safe. If she understands why we are in this position, I will have much more committed compliance.
“I've created a drug that boosts immunity and cell performance to the point that it can fight off most, if not all, invasive mutations, including cancer. With a little more development and specialization, this drug will be able to cure most diseases.” I pause for a moment, not wanting to overwhelm her.
“That’s amazing, Beckett,” she says sweetly.
“It is amazing, and I'm very proud of the science behind it. It has been my life's ambition to create such a cure, and I am beyond thrilled that I had a breakthrough. That being said, I am a part of an old institution. My father was one of the founding members of the ChristopherStreet Society, which is a secret club of elite men. Women are not allowed to join the ranks of this club; that is how outdated and misogynistic the CSS is. I remain a member because I was born a member. The only way to leave the membership is in a casket. I'm very grateful, for now, that you and I had a daughter. There's no fear of her having to join the society like I did when I was only five years old. I had to take a blood oath and watch as my own father cut my palm.” I turn my hand over to show her the faint white line that remains on my hand from the day I took my oath.
“My father made sure to cut deep. I wasn't allowed to get stitches, so the hand was bound and kept immobile to remind me, a mere kindergartner, of the oath and commitment I had made for life.”
“I’m so sorry,” she breathes.
“Rayne will never experience something as traumatic as that. I plan to keep her away from all of this, and I wanted you away from it as well. Unfortunately, you are already involved. You see, my father warned me not to bring a woman or a man into my life—especially not a husband or a wife. He always regretted that he married my mother. She was a young socialite, and CSS allowed it because they thought that a wife and child might be good for his reputation as he was starting to be known as a sociopath. But he was a ruthless monster, and neither his wife nor his child were able to change that.”
“There’s no way to move away, off of their radar?” She is so sweetly naive.
“There’s nowhere in the world they won't find us. So when one of the more senior members asked me to create a weaponized version of my drug, I finally put my foot down for the first time. CSS has never asked me to do anything but heal horrible people; this goes above and beyond that. This would be mass murder, and I said no. Taking you was their attempt to persuade me to change my mind.”
“That’s horrible,” she says softly and touches the marks on my skin. “And I’m horrible too. I’m so sorry I did this to you.”
“It’s not your fault; you were having a bad dream and thought I was your kidnapper.”
“Will you make love to me?” she asks, looking nervous, as if I’d ever say ‘no.’
“Are you sure you feel up to it?” She’s been through so much.
“I don't feel anything. That's the problem. I think if you make love to me I might start to have feelings again.” She is searching so hard to find her peace through this nightmare.
I roll over and bring her into my arms.
“Your mind is guarding you from memories and fears, but I’m protecting you too, and I want nothing more than your happiness. I have to have my snarky dancer throwing barbs at me. Rayne needs her sweet mother back.” I kiss her lips. “Lord knows Mia is missing her best friend, who is more like a sister to her than I am a brother. We need you, Scarlett, so if having sex with me will bring you back, I’m here. I’m always here.” I want her to feel safe and needed.
“For five years,” she says with such a sad expression.
“For as long as you’re here.” That contract we forced her to sign was Griffin’s suggestion to cover my ass. Now I wish I’d left it hanging.
