“I just wanted better for you, Scar. I know what it’s like to be unwanted,” she said when I finally told her.
“My baby isn’t going to be unwanted. I want her. I chose her.” Fuck, I was crying.
Being pregnant made me so emotional.
“I know you do, but she’ll never know her father, just like we didn’t.” I hated the disappointed look on her face.
“And we’re okay. We have each other, she’ll have you, and she’ll have me.”
By the look she gave me, she knew—and I did too—that wasn’t necessarily enough.
“Hey girl, I got pizza. I’m sure my stupid brother is only feeding you wheatgrass and quinoa. He’s fond of torture.” Mia comes bounding into my room, much brighter and happier than she’s been. “Myniece is looking cute and a little chubby.” Mia scrunches up her face like a little squirrel.
“She likes her milk, I will tell you. I’ve never felt more like a convenience store in my life. And yes, please to pizza. Does it have pineapple?” I ask, hoping it does. I am craving grease and cheese with those sweet little nuggets of tangy fruit.
“Would I get you a pizza without it?” she teases as she sits on my bed and opens two boxes. She always gets Meat Lovers pizza, but I never could stomach it.
“Thank you, I love you. This looks so good.” I pick up a huge piece of pizza and nearly shove it all in my mouth; my bite is way too big.
As if on cue, Beckett knocks at the door that is open—being uncharacteristically polite. Usually, he just barges in.
“Just checking on my wife,” he says without much inflection. Maybe a little evil villain vibe, but I don’t think that is what he is going for. “Are you sore? It’s time for you to take some more Tylenol.”
I decide that since Mia is here and she has been so worried about Beckett and me getting along, I’ll play nice.
“Pizza is so much better than Tylenol. Do you want a slice?” I lift my enormous piece to him.
“No. I had dinner. I’ll have Gloria give you a dose.” Ugh, all business.
“You don’t want to sit with us?”
“I’m sure he’s busy. This is my time with you,” Mia protests.
“I’ll come in later. Let Mia enjoy her visit,” he says, almost sounding put out…Almost.
“So,” Mia whispers as soon as Beckett leaves. “How awful is he?”
“He’s a little controlling, but in a doctor-y way, so it’s fine I guess. He’s afraid I’ll go up in flames, I think. It’s all pretty new. Beckett and I haven’t really had our heart-to-heart yet. He is so worried about my recovery that he keeps putting the real conversations off.”
“Beckett isn’t much of a talker,” Mia agrees. “We’ve never discussed me or my mother. We barely even saw each other after DCFSdropped me off with two trash bags and a ton of paperwork. I don’t think he likes deep stuff.” She cringes.
“You think? He got off on having sex with a girl and never even seeing her face. I’m so glad I didn’t let him pay me.” I still have conflicting feelings about that night.
I am proud that I owned my sexuality, and it was amazing sex, but sad that it had been with a man who didn’t want to see me or know me. He is still that man. He is keeping me at arm’s distance and probably always will.
“That’s my brother. But now we can be real sisters; that’s priceless. And I’m an auntie to the cutest baby in the world.” She makes the scrunchie face again.
“Do you forgive me, Mia? I mean, do you understand why I did it?”
“Yes. I get it and, honestly, between you and me, Beckett is lonely. He’s such a grouch because he was raised to be powerful, not loving. You are the most loving woman I know, Scarlett Cross—or I guess Scarlett Myers now. Weird how we both have the same last name. It’s better than Claunch. When Beckett offered me his last name after our dad died, I was like, yes. I’d rather have a rich person’s last name than a weird one nobody could ever spell.” She giggles.
“I liked my last name but, you know, I also liked not being married.” I laugh too. “This whole thing is so strange.”
“It is, but maybe it's a good thing. Beckett is a mature man and an asshole, but he’s also stable and caring in a clinical way. He’s always made sure I was okay, and honestly, as much as I gripe about him, I really did need him.”
“Yeah. I know the feeling.”
Chapter Eleven
