“I’ll walk you up,” I blurt out, jumping on the excuse before I lose the chance.
I hop out and rush around the car, but Lauren’s already out before I can open the door for her. She’s never been one to let someone else do things for her.
We ride the elevator in silence, and she starts fumbling through her purse for her keys. I wonder if she’s doing it because she feels awkward, like me, or if she’s genuinely searching for them. I shove my hands into my pockets, trying to keep them under control as I watch her nervously unlock the door. Once inside, she sets her things down and turns to me with a smile.
I don’t move. My hands stay in my pockets because I’m afraid of what they might do if they’re set free.
“Thank you for the holidays. They were amazing,” she says softly, leaning against the doorframe, her face lit with warmth.
I sigh and look at her, seeing the same Lauren I knew from years ago, the one who always got under my skin. The Alchemist, who still won’t let me sleep. All I can think about is how much I want to pull her close and kiss her until neither of us can breathe.
“I’m glad you had a good time,” I manage, though my smile feels tight. “Well, I guess I should—” I gesture vaguely behind me.
“Yeah, of course. I don’t want to keep you,” she says, nodding toward the door.
The problem is, I don’t want to leave.
Ican’tleave.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four seconds pass in complete silence, our eyes locked, devouring each other.
“Fuck it,” I mutter, freeing my hands from my pockets and stepping toward her.
Our mouths collide, and it’s like the Fourth of July erupts around us. Her face feels small in my hands, delicate, and her soft moans set off a fire inside me bigger than anything I’ve ever felt. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and now I can’t stop.
“Ask me to stay,” I whisper, my voice barely holding together.
“Silas …” The tone of her voice sends a chill through me, and I know what’s coming. A groan slips from my lips, the sting of rejection settling deep.
“It’s not a good idea; I need this job.”
“Funny how that didn’t cross your mind when my tongue was making you see stars, Bunny.” I smirk, trying to coax a reaction out of her, anything to pull us back to where we were moments ago.
“I wasn’t thinking clearly.” Her eyes dart away from mine, and her voice is flat—emotionless.
The laughter, the lightness, the connection—it all vanishes, slipping right through my fingers.
“You can’t control everything, Lauren,” I murmur, my frustration mounting. “Can’t you, for once, just let go? Drift without having to know where you’re headed?” I release her face, but I can’t bring myself to move. I want to stay close, but I can already feel her pulling away.
“Nothing works without direction, Silas. I need to know what you want from me—because if this is just some unfinished business, a one-night stand hanging in the balance, then I can’t …”
“It’s not,” I cut her off, my voice sharper than I intended. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation. Just yesterday, we were perfectly aligned, like we always were.
Where did I go wrong?
She hesitates, and my heart pounds, every beat louder than the last. “Can I think about it for a couple of days? I don’t want to give you an answer I’m not sure of.”
My heart sinks, and I nod slowly, my hands dropping to my waist. I must look like a wreck, trying to smile, but I know it’s forced. “You have all the time in the world, Bunny,” I manage, kissing her forehead softly before turning to leave, not daring to look back.
I don’t want her to see the pain etched on my face, the raw ache in my chest. I don’t want her to know that her indecision, her hesitation, cuts deeper than I ever thought it would. Because the truth is, I’ve always known how much Lauren means to me, even if I haven’t admitted it out loud.
She’s Lauren Green, the one girl who never fell under my spell, no matter how hard I tried. I don’t know why I thought things would be any different now that we’re grown.
