His intense green eyes search for memories at the horizon of the red sea, but as soon as they connect with me, his gaze drops.
“I have some memories, but they are like a dream with phrases or frozen images. Bruno says that as soon as we arrive in the United States the memory will come back on its own, but what if it doesn't?”
“If it doesn't, you'll just have to create new memories, I guess.”
We both reflect on truths that are scattered in the air.
“Do you think is weird to forget my childhood memories?”
“No, I think that people like us, we had to reprogram ourselves and as a result we are different, different from them.” I point out with my eyes to where I think Bruno and Sarah are. “We assumed that our life would continue in that way forever, we never allowed ourselves to fantasize about a future outside the walls, at least I stopped doing that a long time ago.”
“So did I.” He quickly adds.
It feels weird to talk so freely about our feelings, we never had the chance before.
We both look back at Ben, who is now struggling with a net that got caught on his little foot, Dante stands up immediately and helps him get it off. When he returns, he sits a few inches closer to where he was before.
“You said earlier that you were afraid, and I have to confess, I think I'm a little afraid too. You told me your reasons and it got stuck in my mind. What will happen to us? I mean, my brother clearly wants to start a family when he gets there, I don't want to get in the way of his new life with Sarah.”
With a lot of courage, I hold his hand, “You said you were going to help me, I'm going to do the same thing for you. We need to act as a united front to confront this new enemy, the outside world.”
He looks at my hand and tries to produce a barely perceptible smile. He reminds me of my brother Zahir and his sealed feelings.
“I would be so lost without you, Amira.” He says as he places his other hand on top of mine.
Heat and fear unleash a civil war inside of me and warms my heart.
“You're my best friend.” He adds.
Best friend?
I feel cold now, any warm left in my core fly away and left a strange bitter taste in my mouth.
Bruno and Sarah appear and walk towards us; Bruno carries a plastic bag with supplies.
“Are you guys hungry?” he asks with a smile on his face; he clearly needed time alone with Sarah.
I think about food, and my stomach rumbles.
“Famished.” Dante says as he takes a package of something that looks like a sandwich and hands it to me, then takes one for himself.
Sarah walks up to Ben and offers him one; the little one nods, and Sarah sits next to him on the floor. She splits off a small piece and feeds the kid with a lot of patience. Bruno sits on my right side and stares at her and the boy with intensity.
I have mixed feelings about him, on the one hand, I envy how free his love for Sarah is, he’s not afraid of touch her nor spoke words of affection to her. On the other hand, he seems to be so dark and possessive that it makes me feel he has no control over his feelings towards her.
A human without control frightens me.
They certainly have the roles already established. He is, to use the terms of my world, her master, and she responds to his deep voice just like the people around my father did.
“Where did you guys meet?” I ask as I bury my teeth in the long-awaited sandwich.
Dante beside me slips a laugh between his teeth, “I ask him the same thing, let me answer for him, they met in the army.” He explains, proud of his brother.
Bruno nods as he continues watching Sarah.
“How many years ago?” I insist.
“About two years ago.” He answers without looking at me, it seems that my question really bothers him.
