She laughs with tears in her eyes and I take the opportunity to bury my mouth in hers.
Who was I kidding? I can’t be mad at her.
Her lips are cold, but they are full and soft; the tip of her tongue slips in with shyness and I welcome it. A possessive wave takes me to the edge, because her tongue is mine, she’s mine; damn it, it's time to stop thinking otherwise and take what. Is. Fucking. Mine.
I want her for myself, every fucking molecule in her body.
I carefully take her by the hips and pin her against my body, where she belongs. Our breath becomes laborious and anxious; her hands push my head towards her, and I drag her towards me, I want to rip open my chest and keep her in there.
Fuck!
I want more. Right there.
My body burns inside, it boils.
I hear someone coughing next to us. I see Dante grabbing Ben by the hand; the kid looks at us in shock.
“Agh! That's disgusting!” He screams with an offended face as Dante lifts him onto his lap.
We start laughing.
“Ben and I are going to visit Amira for a while, so you guys can have some privacy,” he says walking away from us.
Privacy is something difficult if not impossible on this boat, but I'm never going to waste a single moment alone with my future wife.
“This damn boat doesn't have a room, does it?” she asks.
“No.” I place my forehead with hers; my eyes are closed for a second. “It's not very hygienic here, anyway.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.” She smiles, looking around us.
I just stare into her eyes, her burka is gone and I can see her face completely, I was getting annoyed by the fact that I couldn’t look at her face. Her hair moves with the red sea wind, her eyes look tired and red, but she’s alive and by my side. For a moment I thought I was about to lose her in the battlefield, I can’t explain how desperate I felt, how hopeless and lost. My love for Sarah is so overwhelming that I can’t think straight.
“When you were in captivity, I wanted to look at your eyes all the time,” I say.
She looks at me again, listening to my confession.
“I wanted todrinkthem in, burn them in my memory because I loved you so fucking hard even then…but couldn’t, you were so afraid of me, I didn’t want to make it worse.”
She rests her hand on my cheek; I close my eyes for a second, feeling her skin on mine. She’s a little cold, but that doesn’t mean jack shit. I need her touch.
“It seems a dream to watch your eyes so freely and openly now, they are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, Sarah.”
She smiles.
“I remember thinking the same thing about yours,” she says “they seemed so unique, unforgettable and that thought made me feel guilty. How can I admire my captor’s beauty? How can I have craved him so bad? I guess we both knew we belonged to each other.”
I’m really surprised by her answer, I never thought she would see me in any other way than as a monster.
“Can I ask you something?” she says.
“Anything…”
“Why didn’t you wash my blood off your hands?” she asks while she grabs them and study them carefully.
I have an answer for her, but I don’t know if I should say it out loud.
“I…I just…”
“Tell me the truth.”
“I missed your blood.” I say with shame, while I look at my hands with dry blood on them. “When you were in captivity, your blood was the only thing I could take home with me. It was the only way I could touch you, feel you, have you on me. When I took that bullet from inside you, all I could think of was how important your blood is to me, I’m sorry, I know its creepy and I’m sick…” I can’t even look at her.
Sarah presses her lips on mine, and we get lost in a wild kiss. A kiss that our past selves would have considered forbidden and unthinkable, but now…now this is our new normal and I can breathe again, knowing that I belong to someone as damaged as me and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make her happy for the rest of our lives.
