I feel the adrenaline running through my scalp, my fingers tighten around the steering wheel.
Hate and anger consumes me.
I try not to take my eyes off the road but is an impossible task after hearing what she just said. It’s suffocating me.
“Don’t blame you or your body for your father’s sickness, Amira, you must know that it's never your fault, they are the one to blame.”
“Thank you Dante, you always say the kindest words, even when I don't deserve them.”
What?
“Why do you think you don't deserve them?”
She turns around and looks at the sleepy child. “Look at him, poor child, stole from his parents' arms, I'm as responsible as my father is.”
“You're absolutely wrong.”
She looks at me, surprised by the tone I use, one I never used with her before. In just a day, Amira is uncovering personalities in me that I had buried many years ago. I used to be talkative; I laughed at jokes easily; I had a temper, and I didn't let anyone try to fuck with me. I hope to meet that person again sometime in the near future.
“You are as much of a victim as I was, as that child is. You cannot take responsibility for something you could not prevent or stop. Even though your father is dead, there is still work to do, because your bother is mad and ready to fulfill his legacy.”
“You may be right, but my heart does not stop hurting despite your warm words, Dante.”
In a stroke of bravery, I reach out my hand to hers and I hold hers. Her skin is warm, her hand is soft and small compared to mine. She remains absolutely still, like a frightened deer. Her big eyes look deep and infinite.
“That pain in your heart will go away, we'll make it together, Amira. I promise you that.”
She smiles, but no words come out of her mouth.
“Do you think we'll fit into their society, Dante?”
My eyes dart to the rearview mirror, Sarah is leaning on Bruno's shoulder, he's on her head and the boy is on my brother's belly, they look like a happy family.
I smile, he deserves it.
“It won't be easy Amira, I know that, but anything is better than staying in that compound.”
“I'm so afraid...”
“Of what?”
“Of everything...I'm afraid I can't escape and that our freedom will slip from our hands, I'm afraid of the new world and that my brother will find me, find us,” she says, hooking only the end of her little finger to mine. “Sometimes I feel sorry for myself, but then I remember you’ve suffered since you were a child, and I didn't realize it until I was a certain age. I didn’t know how wrong my world was until I grow up. I feel terrible Dante, for assuming some things.”
I don't want her to see me as a fragile man; I want to be her rock; I want her to see me as strong and resilient.
Without realizing it, I let go of her hand, putting mine back on the steering wheel.
“You don't have to worry about me, I don't blame you for anything.” My voice is cold and distant. “I can't promise you freedom yet, but that doesn't stop me from trying, together with my brother and that wonderful woman, Sarah.”
Amira doesn’t try to talk to me again, and neither do I. She looks out the window with curious eyes; she was born in the compound and had never been out.
Not even once.
This is the first time she’s seen her country.
“Dante...” Amira whispers in a worried tone.
Before I can answer her call, Bruno is already awake and alert.
