It feels cold, and I’m hopelessly crying while crumpling the letter in my hands.
I’m crying because I love him, I’m crying because I hate him.
He taught me to live again, but he never told me how to do it without him. And I know I’m never gonna see him again.
I thought I knew physical pain— how naïve of me. What is physical pain compared to this? This ‘new’ kind of pain can’t be matched by anything I’ve experienced before. And so, how am I supposed to survive this kind of suffering?
Someone, please tell me! How!?
My thoughts are getting darker and darker. It’s becoming impossible to see the light. They’re pulling me down and the more I think about it, the harder I sink, like quicksand. A part of me doesn’t want to get out. That part wants to stay, sink and drown.
Nothing exists outside my mind right now.
There’s a storm where my heart used to be. I hear a thousand wailing souls around me. I can see the reaper walking towards me. I know what he wants. He wants to take me with him. He walks closer to me and rips my heart from my chest. He licks it and takes a bite, then throws it at me.
It’s over.
I’m not going to fight him.
I’m ready to go.
Nothing else matters.
Not without Bruno.
Epilogue
I slowly try to open my eyes. They feel heavy, my eyelids are swollen. I can barely see anything.
Where am I? What happened?
A flashback hits me.
Bruno.
Goodbye.
Pain.
That’s what my mind recalls. The pain is there, the letter is in my hand and he’s gone— everything was real. I open the letter and straighten it against the floor. There it is— his handwriting again. How was he able to write such beautiful and painful things at the same time?
If only I had woken up. Maybe I could’ve stopped him or begged him to say. Perhaps he would’ve taken me with him. Maybe if I had said ‘I love you’ before all this, he would have stayed.
Maybe.
Perhaps.
There’s no turning back now.
I have no way to contact him or Carter, for that matter. I’m suddenly… alone.
Alone in a new and unknown world.
I need to read the letter again…
Sarah:
Asad is dead. This time for good. I saw the light in his eyes disappear, his lifeless body sat in front of me.(When did you go? Why didn’t you wake me?)I give you my word. You are free from him… you are free from me… (I don’t wanna be free from you, and you can’t make me!)I made sure the authorities were notified. There’s no need for you to have a security detail with you anymore.
