When I did, he was staring down at me with a smile tugging at his lips. That alone put me at ease.
“Aura.” I said his name as if I didn’t already have his attention.
“Danae,” he replied, mocking me.
“I wanna ask you something, but it’s not something I can just come right out and say.”
“That’s because women don’t usually ask men to marry them, Ma. It’s not the natural order of things.” He smiled, and I sucked my teeth.
“Boy, please. I’d drink the water from the Atlantic Ocean through a straw before I ask a nigga hand in marriage. Is you cool?”
He laughed with his hands up. “Just making sure.”
“Trust, you don’t have to. But on a serious note, I wanna ask you something.”
He nodded once, humor fading. “Aight. Go ‘head.”
“Do you know someone named Byron? He was known in the streets as Banga.”
He stilled, and the room went quiet. Not in a way where I felt like he was searching for an answer but more like he was giving me a minute to sit with my question before replying.
“I don’t speak on the dead as if they’re still present, Ma. So, yes, Iknewa Banga.”
I swallowed hard before asking my next question. “Did you kill him?”
“No. I put a bullet in his head, but he ultimately killed himself.”
His honesty should have scared me. Instead, it drew me to him.
“Banga was my ex-boyfriend. The one who liked to box. I was on the phone with him the night he died.” I searched Aura’s eyes for a reaction and got nothing. “I heard your name and then the shots. And I’ve been trying to keep my distance ever since. But you, you, Aura Sullivan, just won’t leave me alone. You’re everywhere. Even in my thoughts although I try my damnedest not to think about you. I figured if I avoided you, then I could somehow erase what happened. But how can I avoid you when you show up time after time? The car for my birthday. The just because flowers. Popping up at the diner to see how my day isgoing and a host of other shit. How do I embrace you when I know about that night?”
“The same way I embraced you the moment I found out you were tied to him.” The response was simple, but I was having a hard time digesting it.
Placing my hands on the edge of the counter, I tightened my fingers around it. “So, you’ve known who my ex was this whole time? Did you kill him to prove something to me?” I regretted my question the moment it came out of my mouth. Aura wasn’t even that type of nigga. And by the look on his face, I knew he was highly offended.
“Danae, there’s a few things you should know about me. I would break a nigga neck if he ever breathed wrong in your presence. I’d shoot a nigga in the face if he looked at you wrong. It don’t take much for me. But what I’d never do is kill a nigga behind some pussy that don’t belong to me. I didn’t know anything about you until that cokehead, thieving ass nigga was dead and gone. And I only looked into you once I decided you were gonna be a permanent fixture in my life.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because I don’t make it a habit of holding conversations about other niggas, especially if it ain’t no money involved, and I got better shit to talk about.”
“Aura, do you not understand that I’ve been carrying this around? Running from…”
“Me,” he said quietly, making my heart ache.
“Running from my feelings. Scared that if you knew that I’d been on the phone that night, you’d see me different. Scared to be open to loving you back because a part of me is still fucked up behind that relationship. And despite the pain it brought me, I feel somewhat guilty for wanting to love you knowing what happened.”
His eyes darkened, not with anger but with intense emotion. “First off, you ain’t gotta feel guilty ‘bout a muthafuckin’ thing when it comes to a nigga that didn’t give a fuck about your well-being. From today forward, you ain’t letting him rent no more space in your head. You know why? Cause you gon’ be too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what country you wanna travel to, what car you wanna drive on a Tuesday, what property you wanna invest in. And even more important, what colors you want our bridal party to wear for the wedding.” He put both hands on my hips and turned my body so that I was fully facing him.
“Aura, I’m scared.”
“You don’t have to be, Ma. You already experienced the worst version of love. This that good shit over here. And I ain’t just talking ‘bout the dick I’ma be putting on you.”
“Oh, please.” I went to push him back, and he pulled me to him by the hem of my blazer.
“Lock in wit’ me, Ma. Let me love on you without you pushing me away. I don’t care about what you heard or what you witnessed. What I did had to be done. And yes, I’d do it again. It’s my job to protect. Whether it be my family or my business, I’ma do that.”
“And does protecting me mean I’m dragged more into your world?”
