“Hello?” I blurted out, louder than planned.Shit – don’t make them think you’re weird.“Who is this?”
A brief pause.
“This is Richard.” The unknown voice sounded confused. Was he weirded out? Already? Had I said something wrong, had the intonation sounded non-neurotypical? “Is this Morgan?”
“Yes, but I can explain.” I sank down on the nearest bench, at a safe distance from the other people. “I did break John’s wrist, but I promise it was self-defense. He blocked my way when I left the office, even admitted he sent me into Arya’s office on purpose to get me alone. And… and he fucking touched me.” I spat out the last words, disgust twisting my face at the memory. “I did not intend to break his wrist, but—actually, you know what?” The words tumbled from my tongue before I could stop them. “Actually, yes, I did intend to. He fucking deserved it. And I know this is probably a very bad look since I also broke Gavin’s nose last week, but that piece of shit also deserved it – and if you need to fire me for this, then go ahead. Maybe I don’t want to work for your toxic fucking company anymore.”
I flinched when I caught a few passengers looking at me.
Silence on the other end of the line. My rage quickly gave way to horror at my own words.
“I’m sorry, what?” Richard sounded even more confused. “I’m Nola’s husband. She told me you’ve been hanging out with her lately.”
My eyes widened. I almost choked on my spit.
Fuck. Now he definitely thought I was weird.
“Yes.” My voice hitched. Why on earth would Nola’s husband call me? I’d never met the guy, didn’t even know his name. Had I hurt her so badly, her husband came to take it up with me? Or was he about to tell me their marriage was, in fact, not open, and now he was coming for my head?
“I, ehm, God, how do I even start.” A sniff on the other side of the line.
My stomach turned. My heart raced faster with every second.
“I’m calling to inform you that Nola lost her life in a tragic accident last night.”
For a second, I wasn’t sure if I’d heard it right.
“God, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to dump on you like this.” Another sniff ended in a sob. “I’m not even sure how close you guys really were, I just know that the two of you shared an intimate moment that left her a bit confused, and she wanted to talk to you about it. I understood shecared about you, so I figured you might want to know… and… I’ve just been calling her family and friends all day. I hope I didn’t step out of line. My emotions are all over the place.”
To my horror, his sniffs turned into heavy sobs.
“I’m so sorry,” was all I could force out. From the corner of my eye, I noticed the subway approaching. Maybe I should take the next one, or the one after that, or…
“She was so young,” Richard sobbed. “We have two young kids. It’s just so hard to believe. One moment, she was there… and…”
I sat there frozen, listening to his sobs while my brain struggled to process his words.
Nola. Only thirty-five years old, with two young kids. So full of life, full of energy, open and loving. And now her husband was calling me, me of all people, while I’d just intended to never contact her again and hope she’d quickly forget about me and find someone else, a fun girl who didn’t make everything so difficult.
When his sobs turned into more choked apologies, I realized he was waiting for me to say something.
“What, euhm, what happened?” I swallowed hard, immediately wondering if the question was inappropriate. But then again, he called me, so he probably wanted to talk about it, right?
“It’s so stupid, too.” Richard loudly blew his nose in a tissue – I flinched at the sound. “She was out with some friends last night, and apparently, she stayed late… I wasn’t too worried as this is something she often does… and then this morning, the police called me.” Another sniff. I waited patiently until he could speak again. “Said they found her car totaled, crashed into a bridge… her lifeless body beside it. They’d checked her blood for any signs of substance abuse, but they found nothing. It was like… like her car just drove itself into the bridge.”
He paused, waiting for my reply. But I just sat there, my body nailed to the bench, unable to move or speak.
“They checked the car’s logs. It looked like the smart system malfunctioned – something that’s supposed to be nearly impossible. And even if it did happen, there’s always a failsafe. Even with fully self-driving cars like Nola’s, the driver should’ve been able to take control manually, or at least voice override the system.” Another sob, louder this time. “The worst thing is that I’ll never know what happened exactly, Morgan. I’ll never know why she didn’t stop it… if she noticed too late, or… or if she just let it happen… if she was fighting demons I didn’t know about…”
“I’m sure that’s not the case.” The words came out of my mouth before I could properly think them through. “I mean, shit, sorry, that was insensitive. There’s no way for us to know what she was going through. Of course, you know her better than I do. In fact, I don’t even know her that well.” What the fuck was I doing? I was rambling – as if this poor man didn’t have bigger things on his mind than my anxiety. “Actually, you know what? I’m sorry. That’s all I can say. I’m sorry for your loss.”
Silence on the other side of the line. I squeezed my eyes shut, mentally wishing I could obliterate myself so I wouldn’t have to make his grief worse with my nonsense.
“Thank you.” He sniffed. “Did you know I warned her about this? Maybe I’m old with my almost fifty years, but I’ve been side-eyeing this latest technology for a long time. Self-driving cars? Smart houses? What is this human obsession with putting our lives into technology’s hands as if we can trust it to care for us?”
I said nothing. His words hit awfully close to home.
“I don’t know why I’m bothering you with this. You don’t even know me.” A deep sigh drenched in pain. “Actually, I’m going to call her mom now. I’ve been putting it off. I’m not exactly on good terms with my in-laws.” A shaky laugh. “So now I’m here calling her casual partners instead.”
