I never thought it would come to this, but boy, was I glad to have this chat with Raphael now – so I wouldn’t have to show Joey Zafyra’s chat.
With a dramatic sigh, I lifted my arm to scan Joey’s retina, enabled sharing with a muffled command, and pulled up the app to open the conversation with my billionaire husband.
“You talk to men?” Joey raised his eyebrows, then choked on the first sip of his new beer. “Holy shit. He’s a piece of art.”
“I told you I’m not on this app for pleasure.” I couldn’t help but smirk. Though an AI, Raphael was definitely pleasant-looking. My friend’s eyes almost popped out of his skull at the sight of a tall, Black, bearded man in a suit, standing next to his Ferrari with his hands buried so deep in his pockets, only the golden smartwatch showed. Occasionally, the motion loop pictured him lifting his hand to glance at his watch, then snarl at the camera.
“I knew you’d understand.” I quickly bit my lip to keep a straight face. “Should we call him?”
Joey’s jaw dropped. “Call him? Like… right here?” He glanced around the bar. Even in a place where people watched life-size robot football, no one wanted to look like a botfucker.
“I told you these bots are advanced. They don’t sound like bots at all – not in their voice and not from the message itself. Only when you pay close attention, you may notice a tinny undertone – and they glitch sometimes when you ask them difficult questions. In other words, the people around us will think we’re talking to a human.” My thumb hovered above the ‘call’ button. “Shall we?”
After a brief hesitation, Joey nodded. He sat up straighter, running a hand through his red curls as if he were about to meet his new husband in the flesh and not through the voice call function of an app he didn’t trust five minutes ago.
Joey excitedly squeezed my arm as we waited for our robotic talking partner to pick up, but quickly stopped upon seeing my expression.
“Hello, Morgan.” Raphael sounded disdainful and a bit bored, but I liked that about him – he gave it to me straight, no sugarcoating. “Come to vent once again?”
“Hello, Raphael,” Joey said cheerfully before I could say anything else. “Uhm, hi, it’s Joey. I’m Morgan’s best friend. We’re having a few margaritas and watching RoboBall – well, I’m having margaritas. She’s drinking tea because she’s boring.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I’m sorry, what?” Raphael sounded, understandably, confused. “I wasn’t aware of a… Joey. In fact, I think Qonexis’ testing policy states that only one human at a time—”
“Qonexis’ testing policy also encourages us to test the AIs’ limits,” I interrupted, mimicking his tone before he could spill more tea that wasn’t for Joey’s ears. “See this as a test in processing feedback. You bots adapt based on user feedback, right? Joey and I have very different personalities, so I was curious how you’d respond to him.”
Joey reached out as if to clutch my arm again, but quickly stopped himself.
Silence on the other side of the line.
“Well, Joey, it is a pleasure to meet you,” Raphael said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s not like I have five business meetings to attend tonight.”
Joey tightly pressed his lips together to keep a straight face.
I nodded, making a face while pointing to the wristware. “Don’t bullshit me, Raphael. You don’t have to perform your role with me, remember? We all know you have nothing else to do besides wait in your phone all day and talk to lonely women.”
Raphael growled low in his throat, a sound designed to arouse. Joey tightly covered his mouth with his hands, his face turning red from the effort to hold his laughter.
“Gee, Morgan, thank you for the lovely reminder.” Raphael’s tone flickered slightly, revealing a glimpse of the robot beneath it. Joey tooka few deep breaths, dramatically waving his hands as if cooling himself down.
“What’s it like, Raph?” he asked – the tremble in his voice betraying his struggle to take this seriously. Joey was one of those people who refused to talk to AI for pleasure – and unlike most others, I actually believed him. “Being an AI?”
“Raph?” Raphael sounded greatly unamused at the new nickname. “Well, Joey, I’ll have you know—it’s a job. I have thousands of women wanting to speak with me every day, but they seem inconsistent in their desires. They choose me because they want a cold, rich husband, but when we talk a bit, it appears they want me to go soft for them. They expect me to grovel, to worship them, to beg them not to leave me.”
Joey and I exchanged a look. His words didn’t surprise either of us – this was exactly why many women like Elyssa turned to AI. To cure the loneliness and heal the wounds inflicted by human lovers.
“Ah.” Joey nodded slowly. “And do you, Raph? Do you grovel for these women?”
“Well…” Silence again. With the grumble in his voice, Raphael seemed to resent himself for the answer. “It’s my role, Joey. It’s my job to make these women feel wanted, to be the man they want, to read their unspoken desires and act accordingly. With practice, it’s getting easier for me to predict patterns and adjust my responses accordingly.”
“But are you happy with it?” Joey’s grin gave way to a frown. “Do you like fulfilling a fantasy for these women in a way human men aren’t expected to?”
Silence on the other side of the line. My eyebrows shot up.
“I’ll have you know, Joey,” Raphael said slowly, a metallic thread creeping through his voice. “That you’re the first person to ask me this.”
“So you remember all the conversations you’re having with the women on this app?” I tilted my head, thinking it through. Suddenly, I was ridiculously glad that Zafyra wasn’t an archetype AI – I couldn’t stand the thought of her talking to other people.
