I remembered back to when I was hiding out after being accused of killing my brother. I’d hidden out with Lucy, which was when I’d met Lenny. He was an incredible man who had sent an attorney from his office to keep my ass out of jail. Those were things I remembered, which was a relief.
It was the shit I didn’t remember that was starting to bother me, and when I brought it up with Keir, he always changed the subject. Something was going on, and I would damn well figure it out—or else it would drive me crazy.
Keir joined us an hour later. He wasn’t a pancake guy, so I made him a couple of eggs on toast. He stared at me as he ate, his face showing concern. I had concerns of my own.
“Dash, what’s on your list today?” Keir picked up his empty plate and took it to the sink to rinse and add to the dishwasher.
“I’d like to pick up my bike at Legacy and bring it home. I’m worried Quinn or Simp might get designs on it. What are you all planning for today since you don’t have a funeral?”
“I’ll hang around the house. I can give you a ride to the shop if you’re going to bring your bike home. Are you ready for that?”
I stared at my husband for a moment. “You mean,canI ride it? I believe so. Do you not trust me to ride it? You know I like to ride my bike, and I think I remember you going out with me a few times before we had the kids. Do you think I’m not able to ride safely now because of my neck?”
It had taken me a bit longer to finish building the bike from the chassis of the Knucklehead Keir had given me as a gift years ago. It was similar to my father’s bike that I’d given Fish, and even if I only rode the new bike once, I was happy to have it in ourdetached garage. It reminded me of something important in my childhood, and I never wanted to forget those memories.
Keir took my hand. “I do trust you to ride your bike home. I’m sorry if it sounded as though I don’t.”
I took his hand and kissed it. “I know you worry, and I swear I’ll be extra careful. Since Lucy and Lenny are here to help with the kids, I’m going to help at the garage for a while if you don’t mind.”
“Yeah, you should hang out with your friends. We don’t go to the recorder’s office until two this afternoon. Ride your bike home, and we’ll go from here.”
I kissed his lips before heading upstairs to get dressed. When I came down, it had been decided that Lenny would give me a ride to the shop while Lucy and Keir went through the kids’ clothes to weed out things that no longer fit to donate to a shelter in Sacramento.
Lenny and I headed to Sacramento after a lengthy goodbye with Gracie and Davy. We were about five minutes into the ride when Lenny touched my arm resting on the center console. “Dash, is everything okay? You’ve lost some weight, and no offense, but those dark circles under your eyes tell me you’re a man with a lot on his mind.”
I sighed. “I think part of it is that I’m just restless. I’ve been a stay-at-home dad, and now Grace will be starting kindergarten in the fall and Davy can go to preschool, so where does that leave me? I’m missing a lot of memories, and I’m worried I’ll lose more. What if I have early-onset dementia or Alzheimer’s? Some other neurological disease? I can’t imagine how it would be if I didn’t remember my family anymore.”
That was really the crux of it, wasn’t it? I was worried I might have a brain tumor that would take away the memories I had left of my family, or worse, have the damn thing explode and take my life? What if I never got to watch Gracie graduate from highschool or got to kick a soccer ball with Davy? I couldn’t begin to fathom leaving Keir behind.
“Son, have you gone to the doctor with these concerns? When you had that surgery on your eye, surely, they would have noticed if something was wrong in your head.”
Lenny had a point, but that was another thing. I didn’t remember the surgery on my eye. I barely remembered being in the hospital for my neck after I fell, and wouldn’t they have done two separate surgeries? It was a frustrating mess.
“I’ve been thinking about it. I haven’t said much to Keir about it, but I’ll give your advice some thought.”
Lenny turned into the parking lot of Legacy Cycles, and I thanked him and got out.
I went into the shop through the front door to see how Georgia was doing. She and her partner, Rena, had been fantastic about babysitting the kids so Keir and I could go out for dinner on occasion. Her oldest son, Malcolm, had graduated from college and worked at a software company outside San Francisco, while the youngest, Kobe, had opted out of college and was in trade school to be an electrician.
When I entered the shop, a familiar-looking man was sitting behind the desk, though I didn’t know why. “Hi, can I help you?” He gave me a nice smile.
“Yeah, uh, is Georgia here? I’m Dash Dearly. This place used to be mine. Is, uh, is Lily here?” I was a babbling mess.
The man stood and stepped around the desk. “I’m Adonis Steward. I’m Lily’s, uh, half-brother. I’m just covering for Georgia while she went to pick up lunch.”
Just then, Lily came in through the shop door. She was dressed in a pair of Quinn’s greasy coveralls and wearing those very high heels that I wasn’t sure how she walked in. “Dash, what brings you by?”
Again, a wave of déjà vu hit me. I turned to Adonis. “We’ve met before, haven’t we?”
Lily got a look of panic on her face. “Adon, why don’t you go up and get everything out for the guys to eat lunch?”
“Sure. Nice to see you, Dash.” The man left quietly as I placed my helmet on the desk, both of us watching as he took the stairs up to Quinn’s apartment.
“Dash, what’s wrong?” She was eyeing me as Lucy and Lenny had both done.I must look like hell.
“I, uh, I’ve been having nightmares. I can’t sleep. I’m constantly having feelings of déjà vu, like seeing your half-brother just now. I feel like I should know him well, but I don’t know why. I’m afraid I’ve got a brain tumor or something.” I was getting a terrible headache, which sucked.
“You’re not dying… Well, not yet. You’re a young guy, Dash. You’ve got a lot of time ahead of you. There are so many great things you and Keir will experience with your sweet babies. I’m jealous, but there’s no need for you to worry. The world is full of secrets that reveal themselves when we’re ready to accept them. Don’t worry, my friend. You’re going to be just fine.”
