“To conceal my condition? Oh, Raith.”
“Don’t look at me like that, Rosina. I am all too ashamed. If you had heard how Ottery berated me. But he knew it was not truly that which drove me.”
“How could it be otherwise?”
Raith’s heart thrummed unevenly. “You went away from me — in spirit, I mean. I thought I had lost you altogether, and I swear to you, Rosy, that was more to me than if you had been less than pure.”
Rosina’s stare was blank. “It is not possible.”
“You may ask Ottery. I thought you hated me, and I could not live with you, knowing that, believing it.”
“I hate you? Anton, how could you suppose it? You won my heart long since.”
“Rosy!” He came up to her, and caught her wavering fingers to his lips. “I own I hoped, after last night, that you had some feeling for me.”
“And you for me,” she returned, gripping his hand. “I thought I heard you say that you loved me, but—”
“Thought!” He dragged her into his arms, and kissed her. “I am so desperately in love with you I think I am going mad. I have been so from the very beginning.”
“Anton, that cannot be true.”
“Can it not?” Shifting, he turned her to the wall, and went quickly to open the cupboard doors that concealed the aperture through which the dark shadow of Ottery’s portrait could be seen. “Look at this.” Rosina looked at him instead and in puzzlement, but then moved to examine it. The significance escaped her for the moment. “Look closely.”
She did so, and gave a cry as she came upon the view, through a slight veil, of Ottery’s office. It was obvious anyone sitting beyond the desk must be visible. The place was empty. Had the lawyer had the tact to leave, knowing he must overhear anything that was said in this room? A surge of emotion rose up in her breast. She turned, unable to find words, merely gazing at her spouse.
He had retreated to the other side of the room, and his look was rueful. “Yes, I deceived you from the first. I saw and heard all.”
“I felt it! All the while, I felt I was being watched. I thought it had been a trick of those horrid eyes in that portrait. But it was you?”
His hands went up in a gesture of despair. “What can I say? From the first instant that I saw you, looking quite as you do now, with just such a cap, I was lost. Every moment as you sat in that chair, every word you said, only served to attract me the more. I was too afraid I would lose you, if you had a sight of my face.” He sighed deeply. “Then, after we married, and I was so close to you, I was locked in a situation which put me into a state well-nigh akin to insanity.”
“Then when you cut at me, and threw your bitterness in my face—”
“I could not tolerate any mention of my disfigurement. Only because I wanted you so badly, and I could not believe you might begin to reciprocate my affection.”
“But I did so in spite of it, perhaps because of it. Your very touchiness made me privy to your deepest feelings, Anton.”
“Yet I hated myself for what I was doing to you.”
He dared at last to approach her again, but he did not touch her. Rather his gaze searched hers. “Rosy, I loved you at sight, and time, knowing you, discovering the magical wonder that you are, has only served to strengthen that feeling. If you had left me, or had I tried indeed to put you aside, I could not have endured it. I would not have been able to rest until I had you back.”
At that, her elusive smile played upon Rosina’s lips. “I had every expectation that you might command my return, my dear, imperious lord.”
“Which was why you flew to Ottery for protection.”
Rosina looked up at him in some distress. “But though you might love me enough to waive the matter, I wish I could have a way to prove myself, for how can you ever be sure—”
“Rosy, you little fool!” He cupped her face, his voice caressing, “My darling, don’t you know that last night gave me incontrovertible proof of your innocence?”
How was it possible? Vaguely she recalled something Mama had said. Only it was so long ago, and the subject had never again been of relevance.
“Do you mean that you knew by—"
“By lying with you as I did, yes.”
“Then, if you had done so at the outset, we need never have been through all this agony.”
“I don’t think it could have been avoided, sweetheart. In one way or another, and that is my blame.”
