For a moment he looked as if he might explain, his gaze meeting hers. Was that actual apprehension in his eyes? Or merely hesitation?
Abruptly he smiled. “Let us eat. All this delving into your history has made me hungry.”
Felicity felt unaccountably disappointed as she accepted the ham with which he served her and opted for a slice of bread which he cut for her from the fresh loaf. His manner became far more normal as he began upon his own more substantial repast, accompanied by a jug of ale.
“Do you mean to tell Mrs Kimble of your good fortune?”
“Of course I will tell her. She was most anxious for me and will wish to know how I fared.”
She refrained from mentioning her half-formed notion of residing with her old landlady. She was by no means sure it was what she wanted to do. Although she might sound Nanny out. After all, there was no saying she would be anything but a burden, even if her contribution would augment the household income.
Unexpectedly, the notion of resuming the sort of nomadic life she had lived with Papa all those years ago held no attraction for her. She had been for too long settled in a situation at least predictable, if far from ideal. On the other hand, the longer she allowed herself to continue in a sphere of life to which she could not aspire, the harder it would be to leave it. As leave it she must. She was not equipped for the sort of society Angelica enjoyed, far less Raoul. The thought at once found its way onto her tongue.
“If you mean to take me to Ruscoe Hall, it must be only for a day or two.”
“That is as you please.”
He sounded cold. Felicity found herself oddly anxious. “Was that rude? It was not meant to be. I only meant I must not allow myself to become too accustomed to your sort of lifestyle. I cannot deny it is very comfortable to have everything arranged for me and not to be obliged to consider how to pay for my food and lodging, but it will not do, Raoul.”
He set down his fork and seemed about to speak, but she hurried on.
“No, pray don’t argue the matter. You of all people must realise this windfall is limiting. You can afford to lose your winnings from Lord Maskery, so you cannot possibly consider it other than paltry. Indeed you said as much.”
“Felicity —”
She held up a hand. “Let me finish! You mock at me for being independent, but necessity has made me so and I have been obliged to practise economy. Now I have means beyond anything I supposed possible and I intend to live within them. Do you see?”
His smile was wry. “I see. You must forgive my arrogance. But you need practise no economies while you are under my protection. Is it agreed?”
She gave him a wavering smile, abruptly beset by a ridiculous desire to weep. Why the notion of having Raoul’s protection should have that effect she could not fathom. Her voice, to her dismay, became husky. “You have looked after me very well indeed.”
“A trifle. I could do more, if you will let me.”
Unable to speak, she shook her head and dived for her coffee cup. Finding it empty, she reached out a trembling hand for the coffee pot just as Raoul did the same. His fingers brushed hers and a jolt shot through her.
Felicity snatched her hand back, glancing at him in shock. His attention was on the coffee pot and he did not appear conscious as he poured dark liquid into her cup. Had he not felt it? All too aware of the tremble in her limbs, Felicity eyed him in a jumble of suspense and disbelief. How had that escaped him? What was it? A mere touch to make her feel as if she had suffered the sort of shock one got from banging an elbow? Only in her bosom instead.
What in the world was happening to her? Recalling the several occasions upon which Raoul had touched her, even held her in a comforting embrace, she could find none to which she had experienced a similar reaction. Disoriented all over again and utterly bewildered, she added cream and sugar to her coffee and drank it, horribly conscious of Raoul and fearful of giving herself away.
In a minute or two, he pushed away his plate. She watched him pick up his tankard and down the rest of his ale, fascinated by the motion of his throat, the tilt of his head and the strength of his fingers about the handle.
He set it down and grinned. “That is a good deal better. Let us repair to Middenhall and inform Mrs Dadford that we are off tomorrow. You could visit Mrs Kimble too, perhaps, so we won’t be delayed in the morning.”
Due to Raoul’s insistence on an early start, the curricle entered the environs of the grounds surrounding Ruscoe Hall a little after noon. Informed of this fact by her escort, Felicity dragged her mind from its preoccupation and looked about. They were rolling through a village bordering a low wall, beyond which lay a bank of woody trees with here and there a break showing distant greensward and a glimpse of water.
The undercurrent of anticipatory nervousness that had beset her from the moment of waking sprang to life. She was about to enter Raoul’s home where the vast disparity between them must inevitably oppress her. In the concentration of her quest, his status had never intruded on her mind. Indeed, she had cared nothing for it. But the consideration of her future, coupled with his odd behaviour, had forced it to the forefront of her mind.
Admittedly, he had reverted to a more normal manner, but Felicity found it impossible to relax in his company, aware all the time of his maleness in a way she had not been before the shock of her reaction to his touch. Every time he took her hand to aid her to climb up into or down from the curricle, Felicity experienced a flitter in her pulse at the feel and strength of his fingers. Her own tingled for minutes after he let her go. It was utterly disconcerting and she had no idea how to combat such an unprecedented reaction.
“The country hereabouts is dense with my peers, I regret to say, but most are thankfully fixed in the Capital at this season. So you need not fear to be obliged to do the pretty.”
Startled at the very thought, Felicity could not forbear a relieved laugh. “I should hope not. How would you explain me?”
He gave her a sidelong look. “You are an acquaintance of my cousin’s, remember? You are here to — let me see — yes, you are here to meet with Lucille.”
“Your sister? But I don’t know her.”
“I dare say you met her when she was staying with Angelica. She has often done so.”
