“Angelica then, but —”
“I don’t wish to hear any buts. My dear, at the very least it will give you a respite, which I am sure is very much needed.”
Felicity began to despair of making any impression on the creature. “You don’t understand, Angelica. How should you indeed? I cannot drift along in such a way without securing my future. Mrs Jeavons needs the post filled. If I don’t seize it now, I will be obliged to seek one elsewhere and I had much rather go where I am known and valued.”
She was obliged to break off as the butler re-entered with a full tray. Despite her conviction that all was already known, she found herself reluctant to talk of her true occupation in this milieu.
As the butler set out a selection of sweetmeats, fruit and succulent tarts, Felicity could not but reflect on the huge disparity between this meal — which her hostess had described as simple — and the frugal fare she must return to at the academy. Not that her appetite was able to do justice to it. She was too wound up to partake of much more than a few mouthfuls of each dish.
“A little more wine, Maunder, and then you may leave us to serve ourselves.” The butler refilled each of the glasses and withdrew, what time her hostess gave Felicity a sympathetic smile. “I do understand, my dear child, and if you are set upon this course, I shall not stand in your way.”
“Thank you.” Relief warred with a trifle of disappointment, but Felicity shook it off. “I did ask if my post was still vacant in the letter I sent.”
“Well then, you may at least wait for a reply, don’t you think?”
“I can scarcely do other, ma’am. I would not embarrass poor Mrs Jeavons for the world.”
Angelica had no response to this, except to draw Felicity’s attention to the various dishes on offer. She loaded her own plate with a variety of sweetmeats and a few grapes.
To please her, Felicity took a slice of damson tart, toying with it as an unaccountable weight of depression threatened to engulf her. She had won her point. She ought to be relieved and glad. Instead she found herself wondering if she would ever see Lord Lynchmere again.
Not that she wanted to, but she did owe him an apology. She would also like an opportunity to thank him properly for all he had done for her. Infuriating he might be, with his caustic way, but he had been chivalrous. Kind, too. A distressing urge to weep overtook her as she recalled the way he had pulled her into a hug when she had been overcome with shock. Felicity fought it down, forking a morsel of tart into her mouth and chewing with determined attention.
“A penny for them?”
Felicity started, her glance shifting to her hostess. Angelica was regarding her with a lurking expression of amusement. “Oh, nothing very much.” She shook off her abstraction. “I was thinking that I have been a little unfair on your cousin. He behaved with remarkable forbearance towards me and I have been rather grudging, I feel.”
“Don’t waste your regrets on Raoul, I beg. He is perfectly provoking and I’ll wager he prefers your bite.”
A reminiscent laugh escaped Felicity. “He does. He said so.”
“There you are, then. Don’t go thinking you owe him any sort of apology. Indeed, we will be much better employed in talking of you. Tell me, what was your father about to be naming a man like Maskery for your guardian?”
Felicity winced. “I cannot think Papa can have known his true character. Or perhaps he had not then fallen into a gaming habit. It was all so long ago.”
“But had your father any particular reason for trusting him?”
Angelica’s persistence both grated and gratified. Reticent about talking of her origins, Felicity was yet conscious of feeling pleased someone was interested enough to ask. It made her feel something more than a nonentity. The question, however, was an impossible one.
“To be truthful, I don’t know. I was not privy to the particular relationship between Papa and Lord Maskery. I did not even know him except as the shadowy figure who arranged for my schooling. Until he died, you see, Papa attended to my education himself.”
Angelica’s brows flew up. “Singular. Was he a scholar?”
Felicity was betrayed into laughter. “Far from it.” The long-buried images sprang to life. “He was too fond of a joke to be a scholar. I remember him as laughing and rather what one might call devil-may-care. He taught me more by precept than application. Also adventure, as he called it. We moved around a great deal.”
“Was he a military man?”
“Oh, no.” Felicity frowned over a circumstance that had ever puzzled. “As far as I know, he had no occupation, but we managed somehow. I believe there was an allowance. I really don’t know how he contrived. However it was, it all vanished with his death.” She saw Angelica hesitate and guessed at the question hovering on her tongue. With a little difficulty, Felicity broached the discomforting subject. “You are thinking he was a gamester like Lord Maskery. Don’t imagine it had not occurred to me.”
Her hostess fiddled with a grape. “But you don’t wish to think it. That I can understand.”
Felicity pushed away her plate and set her elbows on the table, steepling her restless fingers to still them. “It is not that. At least, of course I don’t wish to believe my father was a man of Maskery’s stamp, but I truly do not think he was. For one thing, I doubt he could afford to gamble. He sold stories sometimes, but he was never assiduous in trying to make a living at it. When he wrote it was largely for pleasure, I believe. Papa was insouciant and carefree. But also responsible, at least where I was concerned. He used to talk of making do until the quarter, and of settling down soon so that I might have a home and a governess. He said he had expectations, though what that meant I never discovered.” The familiar pang twisted in her gut. “He was killed before I was old enough to learn these things.”
“Good heavens, you poor child! What happened?”
Felicity could talk of it now without distress. It was almost as if the dreadful event had happened to someone else. “An accident. He was knocked down. I don’t know the exact details, but I understood it was a team of horses, driven fast.”
Angelica’s hand went to her mouth and she gasped. “But how terrible!”
