I hope Cillian is lying to me and that you’re not dead. I will never forgive him if he hunted you down.
I smile at the message, which would have made no sense before Friday, but now explains so much. And proves that my friend, despite her faults, truly cares for me. It seems to run in her family. Although I can’t help worrying that the way Cillian cares for me, might destroy me.
I expect him to return that evening, or at least to come back after he finishes working at the club, but he doesn’t.
* * *
Days pass, giving me far too much time to think. On the second day, a parcel of my clothes arrived, including a swimsuit. I looked for a note in the bundle, but there was nothing– although the fact that there were so few matching outfits in it tipped me off that it was Cillian who packed for me rather than Rose.
I wonder why he hasn’t told Rose I’m alive. Maybe because the more people who know, the more likely it is that Vittoria might find out. And he also won’t want Rose to come here and find Matt. And she would come here, I was sure of it. She wouldn’t just abandon me here.
Today is another beautiful day, the eighth since Cillian left me. Despite having messaged him several times, I’ve had no response. Matt has assured me that time can pass differently between the worlds and that Cillian may only have been gone for a few minutes. But even this does nothing to help my growing anxiety.
The lazy summer days have made an otherwise dull and miserable existence more bearable. When I first arrived, I discussed helping the Seven with their cases should they decide to face The Unseelie Court, and now I while away my evenings discussing the details with them and using the practices I’ve learned at law school over the past four years. It’s hard to come up with a defence when the Underworld laws don’t seem to exist in written form, and much seems to be decided by either Vincenzo or The Unseelie Court’s magic, which means I’m often at a loss for what they think I can do. Matt’s case is the most clear-cut– put the ball in the Rialis’ court and ask them to present evidence of motive and a link to the weapon used.
I notice that, despite my offer, neither Declan, Dominic nor James has come to ask for help. With his personality and obnoxious behaviour, I’m pretty sure that Sal must be a serial killer, and I can’t realistically see any court letting him walk free. But he’s determined that his motivations should exonerate him. I am less convinced, but it’s not my job to judge, so I listen– and mostly regret having done so. There’s been several times I’ve had to ask him to stop talking and give myself time to come to terms with some of the things he’s done– not that any sane person could ever fully justify them and I’m realising that I will need to learn to accept that sometimes my actions might help to set a villain free– if I ever get back to that life.
* * *
My afternoon ritual is to swim with Matt. He’s started wearing boxers to swim, which has made the whole situation a lot less embarrassing. Twice, we’ve swum to the opposite shore but, just as Matt told me, as soon as we reach the beach on the other side, we find ourselves right back on the island again.
‘This is ridiculous,’ I complained the first time. ‘The monastery was all the way over there, and now it’s right here.’
Matt laughs. ‘Welcome to the Underworld, where the laws of nature are more suggestions than actual laws.’
I roll my eyes and set off again, checking the position of the far shore and the monastery on a regular basis until my feet touch the shore and, bam, I’m right back on the island looking up at the buildings along the shore.
‘Look on the positive side,’ Matt tells me.
‘What positive side?’ I snap.
He shrugs. ‘The sun is shining, and we don’t have anything else to do until the delivery gets here?’
‘Yeah, that really makes up for everything.’
Today, we’re all waiting for a delivery to arrive. The Brothers will all need to pass through to the human world to collect it, and all I’m expected to do is put anything arriving for the kitchen away once someone else has brought it to the Underworld.
I can see why Matt needs to be positive, though. He’s been here a long time and is fully aware that his life is passing him by. He’s four years older than when I last saw him, and what I notice most is that he seems to have given up. Whereas I’m still determined that I’m not going to stay here any longer than necessary. With the weather being so warm and having nothing to do once the cooking and cleaning is finished, I’ve been trying to persuade myself that the rest is simply an unexpected holiday. Hopefully when Cillian returns…
‘Stop it,’ Matt says, swimming over.
‘Stop what?’
‘That smile, that’s a sex smile.’
‘What? No, it’s not.’
He just grins at me, and I flush deeply. I guess maybe it was a sex smile.
‘So, you and Cillian.’ He shakes his head. ‘Maybe if I ever get out of here, there might actually be hope for me and Rose.’
‘Will I need to get out of here for there to be any hope between me and Cillian?’
‘How much do you know about The Unseelie Court and how it operates?’
‘Not much. All the Kinfolk I’ve met have seemed basically human, I’ve never noticed anything different unless it’s been pointed out to me. Declan showed me his true form.’
‘Most will have been using Glamour to hide their true physical selves– like Declan and Lachlan, obviously. And humans are easy to fool. No offence. You’ll see more and more the longer you’re here.’ He pauses, as if trying to decide whether to explain that further or not. ‘So many of us hide in plain sight.’
