I shake my head but can’t stop my cheeks from heating.
‘And, since then?’
‘Nothing important,’ I assure him.
He makes a face at me, shaking his head. ‘Cillian Hunter, eh? There’s much more to you than meets the eye. Nothing like setting your sights high.’
‘Matt, he’s marrying Vittoria Riali. Their engagement dinner was what started all this—’ Then I remember that what’s keeping me safe here is that all the men think I belong to Cillian. And I guess that all of them are assuming in what way I belong to Cillian. ‘He was supposed to kill me.’
‘That’s kind of his job, Niamh. But sometimes, he makes good choices, so I suppose there’s hope for him. And he’s put off marrying Vittoria for all this time.’
I can’t think about what-ifs. I’ve been told several times that Cillian needs to marry Vittoria to achieve his goals. That doesn’t leave any place in his life for me. I refuse to be someone’s dirty secret. I have too much self-respect for that.
‘Anyway, you’re supposed to be dead,’ I say, changing the subject.
‘I may as well be.’
‘That’s… that’s not true. If Rose knew you were alive she might not?—’
‘No, Rose shouldn’t waste her life on me. I’m never getting out of here. She deserves more than I can offer her.’
‘Matt,’ I reach for him and squeeze his arm gently. I think of how much Rose has changed since he disappeared. And it worries me. Her behaviour, her attitude to me, to relationships. She needs him.
He sighs and looks away.
‘I was accused of a murder I didn’t commit,’ he mutters.
I nod. ‘I know. Vittoria’s brother. Chris Riali.’
‘How do you—’ He pauses. ‘Did Cillian tell you?’
‘No. Declan,’ I tell him. ‘But if you’re innocent, can’t you just go to this Court everyone keeps talking about?’
‘Well, I could. But Chris’s dad controls the Court, and I’m not willing to bet my life on me getting a fair trial. St Marnox is the only option– unless things change. And now you’re stuck here, too.’
‘Seems like it,’ I say vaguely, knowing that I’m going to do everything I possibly can to get out of here. ‘But if you didn’t kill him. Tell me what happened.’
He sighs. ‘Chris had been acting strangely for, I don’t know, a week or two, maybe. He’d had problems with drugs and alcohol?—’
I recall the first time I met him at Cillian’s house. He seemed a little off the rails then. ‘Yeah, that was obvious.’
‘But when he died, his father, Vincenzo… he made Chris out to be some saint.’
‘I suppose I can understand that.’
‘It was me who found Chris… that night. He’d been drinking, heavily. Cut his wrists in the bath, bled out. I tried to save him. I really did.’ Matt stops, takes a breath. ‘I called for help, called his family. But when they arrived… they just decided I’d killed him. I was covered in his blood, after all. Vincenzo wanted to avoid the shame of his son dying by suicide. So, he blamed me.’
‘Wow. That’s so twisted,’ I say, though not shocked. And Cillian agreed with the Rialis? He… hunted you down?’
‘He didn’t have a choice, Niamh. He hunted me, he even caught me and could have killed me on the spot… but he didn’t. He gave me the chance to reach here instead. Because he didn’t believe Vincenzo either. But it’s been years, and this life… It’s barely worth living.’
‘But at least you’re alive,’ I say.
‘I have to live every day without Rose. Not able to see her, talk to her. Cillian tells me a little when he’s here?—’
‘Cillian comes here?’
‘Yes, anyone can go to the human side of St Marnox. But only the Hunters can enter into the monastery in the Underworld. It’s what makes this a sanctuary.’
