‘Come on, you can stay in a guest room and I’ll bring you a pair of Rose’s pyjamas. You can get changed and get into bed.’
‘I don’t want to be a bother,’ Niamh says instantly.
‘It’s not a bother.’ I don’t tell her that I want to keep her close, she’ll wonder why I’m so invested, especially given she’s so much younger than I am. I don’t want her to think my motives are anything but genuine.
‘Here, give me your phone. You can call me if you need anything during the night.’
‘Oh… okay,’ she murmurs, handing it to me. I put in my number and hand it back as I push open the door. I go to leave, but she reaches for me and when her warm hand touches my arm, a jolt of desire rushes through me. I step back on instinct, and she quickly removes her hand as though by touching me she’s scolded herself. ‘Cillian…’
‘What?’
‘I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. You must think?—’
‘You’re sorry?’ I look at her. Her being sorry is definitely not what I want.
‘You shouldn’t have had to drive all that way…’
I tilt my head to one side, considering.
‘You think that you can make me do something that I don’t want to do?’ My tone is harsher than I intend, and she tries to pull back, but I don’t let her.
‘Let’s get you inside.’ I lead her inside and up to one of our guest bedrooms. Leaving her to get settled, I speak to our housekeeper, then find Aiden to inform him of his latest, and urgent, task to find out everything possible about the accident. A short while later I find myself pausing outside her door on the way back to my own room. I should keep walking, but something about her calls to me. Though I am not the person she should be turning to.
I knock softly on the door. ‘Niamh?’
‘Yes?’
I push open the door. She’s sitting up in bed, a steaming mug of tea beside her. Our housekeeper will have brought it up, but it remains untouched.
‘It’s supposed to be relaxing,’ I say. ‘Drink some more.’
‘I’m fine,’ she murmurs.
‘Niamh.’ My tone is sharp, but it’s enough to jolt her from her dwam. ‘Drink the tea.’
She keeps her eyes on me, wide and scared, as she reaches for the mug and drains every drop.
‘It’ll help you sleep,’ I say more gently. ‘It’s been a really tough day.’
She relaxes slightly, her gaze still on mine.
‘Things will never be the same again, will they?’ she asks quietly.
‘No, they won’t,’ I tell her.
The truth might hurt, but right now, it’s all I’ve got for her.
‘Stay with me,’ she begs and I’m unable to refuse. She’s wearing a pair of Rose’s pyjamas, and I wish instead that I’d offered her one of my T-shirts. When she thinks about tonight, I selfishly want it to be me she’s grateful to, not my sister. I sit down beside her, on top of the covers once again and fighting the temptation to offer her comfort in a more physical way. Sex is always seen as an antidote to death is it not?
‘I can’t believe they’re gone,’ she whispers and turns to face me, burying her head against my chest just like earlier. I tip her chin up with one finger and look down into her tear-filled eyes, fighting the urge to take her mouth and more if she’ll let me. But she’s hurting, vulnerable and no matter how much I’m drawn to her, she’s just not mine to take. I cradle her head against my chest and kiss the top of her head, holding her as she cries. She falls asleep soon after, but I don’t leave her side for the rest of the night.
Chapter20
Cillian
NOW
Icall Rose from the car straight after leaving Vittoria’s. I have to call five times before she answers.
