“It’s just…” she clears her throat again. “Do you think we can do it? Actually parent children, I mean? Without completely fucking them up?”
“Are you kidding me? We can do anything. For fuck’s sake, Seraphina, we kill people for a living. Having kids is child’s play in comparison.”
“Exactly,” she huffs out. “Exactly. We kill people. I’ve stabbed four men, Damien.”
“Five, if you count the stapler,” I cut in, and she makes a face.
“I mean, I’ve murdered four men. I’m good at removing people from this world. Not so sure I’d be good at bringing anyone into it.”
“We can do anything,” I repeat, kissing the freckles on her nose. “Youcan do anything.”
“Yes, but…” she sits down on the couch heavily. “I don’t want to fuck anyone up the way my father and stepfather fucked me up.”
I let myself fall down next to her. “Are you comparing me to those bastards?”
“No, no, of course not. Still…” She blows out another breath. “It’s a lot of responsibility. That’s all.”
Her words are followed by a long silence as we both lose ourselves in thought. I stroke her back absentmindedly, coming to terms with what I imagine to be her decision.
No kids. She doesn’t want kids.
Second to Seraphina, having kids is my greatest desire in life. But only second to her. Everything will always come second to her.
If she says no kids, then it’ll be no kids.
I’ll let her keep her womb. The rest of her belongs to me. But this decision is hers to make.
“You’d make a wonderful mother,” I say at last. “And I’d try my damn hardest to be a good father. But it doesn’t matter. If youdon’t want kids, then that’s all there is to say about it.”
She stares at me in shock, her mouth so wide open I wonder if her jaw will fall off. Then she shuts it just as suddenly.
“You…what? You’re fine with not having kids?”
“Of course.” I shrug. “If that’s what you want.”
“But you… you just told me you want…”
“I want what you want,” I say, kissing her again.
“So… you’d just let medecide?”
I snort. “Pretty sure you’re already the one who decides. I can order you to do whatever you want, but when it comes down to it, if you don’t want to do it, you don’t. You’re a very naughty girl, pet, and—”
My words are suddenly cut off as she lunges at me and kisses me. In the not-so-distant past, I might have punished her for such a show of affection, but now, I hold her to me hungrily, returning her kiss with passion.
“I want to,” she breathes into my mouth. “I want to be pregnant. I want your child. I want you, Damien.”
I sink my teeth into her lower lip, crushing her to me so hard she gasps for breath. “Well, good. Because you have me. All of me. And you’d better keep me.”
I kiss her again, more passionately than ever, before pulling away from her and lying her down on the couch, on her back. Kissing her again, I work my way down to her stomach, tenderly stroking it, picturing the seed of life that’s been planted there.
Then my kisses go lower, down the side of her thighs. I kiss her panties and notice they’re wet. Fuck. The sight of her arousal makes me hard again.
Hard… for something different.
“Tell me, darling,” I say. “I never did punish you, did I?”
She looks at me in confusion.
