“Oh, Alice.” I sighed, glad that she hadn’t been flirting with Scott.
Imagine if she had caused some sort of fistfight between them. That would have made my family a sideshow circus. Not that we weren’t already halfway there.
“I know. I’m a mess.”
“We’re both messes.” I laughed.
“What are we going to do?”
“We need to forget about all of them. Let’s go out tonight and meet some new guys and have some fun.”
“You want to?” Alice didn’t look enthused about the idea.
“Yes! We don’t need them! We’re two hot girls. We need two hot men who will appreciate us.”
“I don’t know.” She made a face. “When we went out in college, we never had much luck.”
“That’s because we were nerds.” I giggled. “And we didn’t know how to play the game. We both played it safe and settled for losers. You dated Luke, and now he’s married to Joanna, our ex-roommate. And I dated Justin and Evan and, well, we both know how great they were.”
“Evan was addicted to his PlayStation.” Alice giggled.
“And my panties.” I shuddered. “And not in the sexy way either.”
“There’s a sexy way?” Alice looked at me curiously.
“Yeah, thesteal and sniffsexy way.” I made a face. “Okay, that sounds perverted when I say it out loud, but that’s kinda sexy because you know you turn your man on. I mean, if you’re going to steal my panties, do it because you’re sniffing them orwhacking off into them. Don’t do it because you want to wear them.”
“I wish I could have seen his face when you caught him in your black thong and red lipstick.”
“He ruined the lipstick as well. It was the Chanel tube. I’d spent forty-two dollars on that lipstick, and he didn’t even replace it.”
“I dare say he stretched out the thong as well.” Alice giggled.
“He did.” I giggled as well. “I gave it to him as a parting gift when we broke up.”
“Oh, Evan. I’d thought he was a weirdo from the beginning,” Alice said. “I mean, what guy brings over his PlayStation and games every time he’s staying at his girlfriend’s house?”
“A loser—that’s who!” I groaned. “Not that Justin was any better.”
“True,” Alice agreed. “What was up with his hair?”
“His hair was the least of his problems.” I giggled as I remembered my other ex. “Remember when we caught him using your concealer to cover up his acne?”
“I know.” She groaned. “I caught him using my toothbrush once as well. He was so gross.”
“Ugh, I always seem to pick the worst guys.”
“Don’t look now, but the posse is headed toward us,” Alice said softly.
“Ugh, I don’t even want to see Xander’s or Gabby’s face. Please say we can go out tonight.”
“Fine.” She grinned. “Let’s see how much more trouble we can get ourselves into.”
“Let’s play Scrabble tonight.” Scott popped his head into my room later that afternoon.
“Sorry, we’re going out.” I looked up at him from my vanity.
“Going out where?” He frowned. “That’s no fair.”
