“She went to Dartmouth for undergrad,” I said quickly. “And she has a pet dog and a hamster and she enjoys playing racquetball.”
“Huh?” Liv’s eyes widened. “How do you know all that?”
“Google is my friend.” I laughed. “Plus, she has a blog where she talks about her life.” I rolled my eyes. “And she has photos of Frodo, her hamster, and Blackie, her dog.”
“Please don’t tell me her dog is black.”
“He is.” I nodded and giggled. “Who calls their black dog Blackie?”
“So unoriginal,” Liv agreed. “She has to go. You’re much better for Aiden.”
“Yeah, right. I doubt he thinks so.”
“He’s an idiot,” she said and pulled out her phone as it beeped. “Okay, that was Aiden, he’ll be here at seven-ish.”
“Oh my God. What am I going to wear?” I squealed. “And does he know I’ll be here?”
“Of course he knows,” Liv said. “Where else would you be?”
“Yeah,” I said weakly. “Where else would I be?”
I waited at the coffee shop two blocks away from our apartment for Liv to text me to let me know that Aiden had arrived. We’d decided that I wouldn’t be at the apartment when he arrived. Instead, I’d arrive back home about thirty minutes after he arrived and talk about my hot date.
I have to admit I felt like a bit of a tart, sitting in the coffee shop in my short black mini-skirt and short white top, with my red push-up bra and high heels. I could see an old man in the corner of the store staring at me, his eyes moving up and down my body as if I were a fine piece of art that was to be looked over microscopically so that he didn’t miss any tiny details.
I sipped on my now-cold latte and stared at the screen on my phone, hoping that Liv would just hurry up and text me. Already I was regretting the lies I was going to be telling Aiden when I arrived back home. I wasn’t even sure he’d believe me. I mean, who goes for a date in a black mini skirt and arrives back home at 7:30 p.m.? I knew that when I arrived back home, he was either going to think I was a whore or a liar, and I wasn’t exactly pleased with either of those options.
“Good evening, ma’am.” A deep voice sounded next to me, and I looked up to see the old man standing beside me. I tried not to cringe as I smelled him and looked into his wrinkly face. He looked even older than I’d thought before. He was in his late sixties and had scraggly grey hair and a missing tooth.
“Hello,” I said lightly, my voice coming out as a squeak.
“How much, then?” He sat down in the chair across from me and winked.
“Sorry?” I frowned and turned my face slightly to the right. He really did smell bad, like rotten eggs.
“How much?” he said again and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. “What does twenty get me?”
“What does twenty get you?” I repeated dumbly. Yes, I just might be the dumbest and most immature twenty-two-year-old in the world.
“A blowjob or some titty action as well?” His voice lowered and I gasped.
“What?” I stood up, feeling enraged. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?”
“Uhm?” He looked around with a somewhat frightened face, which I thought was ironic. Wasn’t I the one who should look frightened? He was the one coming up to me and acting as if I were a prostitute.
“Get out of here, you dirty old man!” I said more loudly, and I could see a young couple in the corner looking at us with big eyes and awkward smiles. Ugh! I was so annoyed that I grabbed my coffee and left the store. I was mad at myself for having gone along with Liv’s idea. It was stupid and I didn’t even think that Aiden would care if he thought I’d been on a date. On what sort of date would I be going out looking like a hooker, but making it home before 8 p.m.? Only a lame date, and what was there to be jealous of if the date sucked?
I got into my car and drove home feeling bummed. I turned on the radio and smiled as I heard “I’m Not the Only One” playing. I sang along with Sam Smith and tried to keep my mind off of how much my life was sucking. I wasn’t sure why I was so bad in relationships. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t approach Aiden and just be normal. I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t just flirt and be honest. I think it had to do with my childhood, which seemed to be everyone’s story.
My father had left my mother and me when I was two. I couldn’t really even remember him, if I was honest. My mother had remarried when I was four and my stepfather had adopted me. He even treated me as if I were his kid, and I loved him and called him dad. However, I always wondered about my real dad.I hadn’t seen him since I was two. When he’d left, he’d never looked back. It hadn’t really hit me until I was fifteen. When I was fifteen, I decided I wanted to find him, so I looked him up online and was able to locate him. I’d called him and found out that he had a new family and two more children. He’d said he was going to call me back and we would go to dinner. He never called, but I didn’t give up. I called him back and he said he’d have me over for Sunday lunch to meet the family. He’d said to call him back in a few days to get the address. I’d called and the number had been disconnected and I’d never heard from him again. I hadn’t tried to make contact with him again either. I knew that deep inside of me there was pain that emanated from my father’s rejection, but I tried not to dwell on it. Instead, I tried to look at the bright side of life, the fun side of life. I tried to be goofy and to laugh and to just ignore the things that made me feel bad. However, now it wasn’t so easy.
My heart felt heavy as I pulled into a parking space and turned the ignition off. I think that being in a situation where you think you love someone and they don’t love you is most probably one of the hardest things in life. While I still had hope (for what are we without hope?), I didn’t necessarily think I had a good shot, no matter how much Liv tried to convince us both otherwise. Part of me felt like a fool with all the plans and tricks. I didn’t think they would work on Aiden. Not given our history. I didn’t think they would work, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t still going to try. Aiden had been a part of my heart since I could remember. He most probably didn’t even know how much he meant to me. He most probably didn’t realize that he was the reason why my heart had healed after my father’s rejection.
“I’m back from my date,” I squealed as I opened the door to the apartment, with a wide fake smile on my face. “He got me roses,” I called out giddily. If I was going to lie, I might as well play it up. Silence met my lies, and I frowned as I hurried through the corridor to the living room. “Liv?” I said in a confused voice, surprised that she wasn’t responding as planned. “Liv,” I said again as I entered the living room.
“She’s gone out,” Aiden said smoothly with a short smile from the couch. He was sitting there stiffly with an amused look on his face. “She asked me to wait as she had tried to call and text you, but you weren’t picking up.”
“Oh?” I frowned and looked at my phone. “I don’t have any missed calls.” I made a face and checked the screen again.
