Chapter One
Daisy
‘You have to take them. You know you do, Marguerite.’
The Blank raises a brow at me as he holds out the little paper cup. I don’t know this one’s name. I take in the wiry brown hair and the heavily hooded eyes, the square jaw that doesn’t quite look right with the hook nose. I don’t know him at all. I’m sure of it. Not his face, nor his voice. But he’s speaking to me as if we’ve done this a hundred times before.
It makes my head spin.
This isn’t right. None of this isright.
‘I'm not going to tell you again,’ he huffs, and even I can tell he’s getting impatient.
I’ll get a demerit if I don’t take the pills. The thought of getting into trouble makes my gut twist and my hands shake a little.
I stare at his white uniform that's half buttoned up the front, showing a slightly yellowing vest underneath. The lapel on the left side of the outer jacket has a brown mark onit. His name tag shines beside it.Philipin bold, black lettering. New. Pristine. It doesn’t fit if he’s not new here.
But maybe he lost his old one and Dorothy in the office had to make him a new one.
It’s just not conclusive evidence that I’m being lied to.
I wrinkle my nose at the nametag, but I already know what I’m going to do. Because I know whathe'll doif I continue to be a problem. While the Stinger that's currently wrapped around my leg is nowhere near as nasty as the one Joe Banderville put on me, it still delivers quite the zap. Plus, the mere thought of being punished is enough to make me break out in a cold sweat.
So, I take the small paper cup, careful not to touch his fingers, and I eye the pills in the bottom, the same ones they’ve given me every morning for God only knows how many days now. They'll subdue me, quiet my mind, make everything cloudy, and make me feel sick. I hate them.
Looking pastPhilip, I tip the pills into my mouth and I take a drink from the plastic cup by my bedside.
The water is stale and makes me gag, but I force myself to swallow them.
The Blank doesn't move.
‘Let me check,' he orders with raised brows, leaning forward a little.
Still not looking at him, I open my mouth and move my tongue up so he can see that the pills aren’t there any longer. He makes a small noise of satisfaction.
‘There, now,’ he says kindly, as if he hasn’t just drugged me on doctor’s orders. ‘Was that really worth wasting the past five minutes, Marguerite?’
He pats my head and I force myself not to react by pushing his hand away.
That will get me a demerit, and it’ll get back to Stoke or the other one…Lansdon.
I glance at the digital clock by my bed. I have about twenty minutes before my mind starts to go fuzzy. How long have I been here? I have no idea. I haven't been outside in days. I think it's days, but it might be weeks. I was trying to keep track at first, but I'm not in Stoke's office often enough to see the date on his calendar.
I suppose that's a good thing.
'Stoke wanted to see you,' Philip says slowly, enunciating every word as if he really thinks I can’t understand him properly. 'Can you find it by yourself?'
No matter how long you’ve had this job, I’ve been here longer,I want to say, but I just nod and plaster that practiced, pleasant smile on my face.
He turns away and leaves my room without another word. I stand up and shuffle out of my bedroom, making my way down the corridors to Stoke's office. I stand outside and knock. He leaves me waiting for at least five minutes in one of his little power plays, no doubt. Less than fifteen left before I won’t be able to string a sentence together.
They keep telling me I was in a psychosis, that nothing from the past few months is real. I try not to think about it because it makes my heart beat very fast and I start to panic.
Everything feels wrong. Upside down. Untethered.
Is anything real? Are Blake and Mav? Is the Shade I came to know over the past months? Or did my brain conjure them up?
The thought of them not existing makes my brain stutter. I can’t get past that fear.
