“Good morning, Clide, how are you?” The older man is recently widowed and excited about having a new young neighbor move in.
“Good, good, heading off to school?” The water hose in his hand is kinked so that he can speak with me. He’s constantly watering the garden or the grass. I think it’s so he can be outside on the off chance he gets to interact with the neighbors.
“I am.” I smile big as I open my car door to toss my purse in. “Getting everything set up for the year.”
“Those kids are going to enjoy having you there.”
Yesterday, when I was unpackaging the decorations and loading them into different bins, Clide came over with fresh-squeezed lemonade and lent a hand. We spent hours chatting.His wife was also a teacher, and I think he enjoyed reminiscing with me.
“That’s the hope.” A self-conscious laugh escapes. “I better get going if I hope to beat the traffic.”
With a friendly wave, he sees me off, reminding me of my own grandfather before he passed. Always making friends and helping neighbors. Being around him brings up painful memories, but ones that also warm my heart and remind me that once upon a time, I was truly loved by those around me.
CHAPTER 2
Tommy
Dear Tommy,
It’s been months since I’ve heard from you. I miss you so much, and I have so much I wish to share with you. Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need me?
Why won’t you write me back?
I’ve waited for you, think about you constantly, and now I don’t know what to do…
Please write me back.
Even if you don’t want our future together, just tell me you’re okay…That you’re alive. I couldn’t stand it if I were living in a world where you’re not and I didn’t know.
Your family moved. They didn’t even say goodbye, and I think that hurts just as much. Did I do something wrong?
Please tell me.
Cassie
That last letter from her nearly broke me. It’s so worn that the edges are torn. The paper has thinned to near translucence. I hurt her, and I don’t know how to fix things.
Her nosey neighbor has kept me from entering the house to see how she’s living, and my annoyance is beyond reason. The man hasn’t seen me yet, but I know if there’s even the slightest change in her home, he’ll notice, tell her, and fuck everything up.
Cassie has been in Jacksonville for a little over three months now. Teaching has brought her a sense of peace that she lost when her parents died so close together, and my lack of response to her letters didn’t help; I know this. Her pain was suffocating, even from thousands of miles away. It hadn’t been my intention, but I also didn’t want her to suffer with my new burden.
An explosion left me in a coma, then temporarily paralyzed from shrapnel lodged in my spine. It’s a miracle I’m walking even now.
Two months before the explosion, I’d been promoted to sergeant, had my own unit for the first time, and on our third mission, escorting a village out of a war zone on foot, we were ambushed by rocket launchers. Half the village had been slaughtered, half my team is now dead, and the few of us who survived will remember that day for the rest of our lives.
Between the injuries, the PTSD, and the depression, I couldn’t stand the idea of tainting my Cassie-bell with my words. I’d have been angry and bitter, and her soft heart would have believed she’d done something wrong when it was the complete opposite.
Knowing she was home and safe was all that got me through the grueling surgeries and months of rehab. When I arrived home a month ago to discover she had moved, I’d been terrified. There was no forwarding address, and no sign that anyone knew her location. It was her school's welcome post, introducing this year’s new teachers, that caught my attention.
Relief warred with fear as I began following her on social media. She has a ReelShotz account set up, not only teaching history to her students but also to anyone who follows her. The kids in her classes enjoy razzing her on it, too, but all in good fun. She often accepts any popular challenges they throw at her, and seeing her enthusiasm shine gives me hope that she’s happy.
My initial intention had been to leave her alone. Cassie deserves a life of infinite joy and love, and I’ve struggled with whether I have that in me. However, a recent Facebook post about beginning her fertility treatments and IUI journey lit a fire under my ass.
Apparently, Cassie is trying to get pregnant through artificial insemination, and I don’t think I could stand the torture of knowing she’s having another man's baby. I need to get myself right because there’s no damn way I’ll allow this to happen. I’d never survive.
And so, instead of breaking into her house and snooping through her life, I head to a stationery store because if I’m going to do this, I need her to understand quickly that I’m all over her. That I crave everything she wants like the sweet candies she enjoys.
CHAPTER 3
