I’m right there, walking back to the harbourside restaurant with my dad. The sun warming my face feels good. After having a fun time sightseeing with him, an unusual calmness envelops me, the constant chatter in my head stilled by the soothing sound of waves lapping against the harbour walls. I glance upwards. Candyfloss clouds skitter across an azure sky, promising a beautiful day. It wasn’t a beautiful day.She spoiled it.She spoils everything.I see her standing at the quayside as we approach the restaurant. She glances over her shoulder, making sure Dad sees her, lifting her arms, scooping her hair back, all the better to show off her boobs to the tanned, sparkling-white-teeth sort whose only attraction as far as I can tell is his great big fucking yacht.
I glance at my dad. A telling tic goes in his cheek. He’s angry, his mood dark suddenly, as if a fat grey cloud has descended over us, yet still he smiles, a heart-crushingly sad smile as he looks at me, attempting to reassure me.
She doesn’t speak as she saunters across to us, walking straight past my dad with barely a glance. She looks lingeringly back at the flash guy with the yacht, though, who’s watching her go, his eyes glued to her backside.
My dad’s face is thunderous.He’s pissed off, the voice whispers.Iknowthis. It’s obvious by the way he’s kneading his forehead as he turns to follow her to the trail loop we decided to walk, taking in the stunning clifftop views. As if he wants to see them with her flirting with some wealthy wanker right in front of his eyes.
‘Why are you doing this, Natalia?’ he asks her, as she walks ahead of us.
‘Doing what?’ She turns around, blinking innocently and almost tripping over the stupid toe-bar sandals she’s wearing.
‘You know very well what.’ Dad’s look is somewhere between anger and deep humiliation.
‘I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. Are you sure it’s not all in your mind, Jack?’ she asks, arching her eyebrows amusedly before turning to stroll on.
I’m heading reluctantly after her when I realise my dad’s not following. I glance back to see him standing with his head bowed, his body language utterly defeated, and fury sparks inside me. ‘Cow!’ I snarl, catching up with my mother. ‘Why do you have to keep hurting him?’
She looks at me in surprise. ‘I’m not hurting him, Evie.’ She sighs. ‘It’s complicated, sweetheart. We?—’
‘He works his guts out for you,’ I snap. ‘He’s trying to build up his business withnilsupport from you. He does everything hecan to try to make you happy. And you just throw it back in his face.’
‘Oh, his business.’ She laughs cynically. ‘It’s my income from the hospital that pays the bills, Evie. I think that qualifies as me supporting him, don’t you?’ She glances indifferently towards my dad as he approaches. ‘He does work hard, I’ll give him that. It’s not me he’s working to impress, though.Isit, Jack?’
Shaking his head in despair, my dad says nothing.
‘He’s not quite the saint you think he is, Evie,’ my mum adds, walking on.
Dad shrugs apologetically and gives me another one of those smiles that don’t reach his eyes. I can’t remember the last time he smiled properly.
We walk on in complete silence. So much for the family day out together. It’s all ruined.Because of her.I fix my gaze on her back, fury spiralling dangerously inside me no matter how hard I try to quash it.
She stops after a while, and gazes out over the panoramic clifftop view. ‘Come and look, Evie,’ she says, glancing over her shoulder at me. ‘It’s breathtaking.’
I shrink back. I want to step forward, but I daren’t. I can hear the waves crashing against the rocks below, and the thoughts that creep uninvited into my head scare me.
Dad approaches, tentatively. As he stops by her side, she doesn’t acknowledge him. Doesn’t look at him.
He sighs heavily. ‘Can we not do this, Natalia?’ he asks. ‘Can’t we just pretend to get along for the rest of the holiday, for Evie’s sake?’
‘Pretend?Ha!’ She laughs. ‘You’re good at pretending aren’t you, Jack?’ She twists to eye him with sheer contempt, and my heart drops to the pit of my belly.
I see his despair, his hurt. I can feel it. How can he just stand there taking that shit? Why doesn’t he say something? Fight back?
She drags her gaze away. ‘I want you out of the house,’ she says after a moment.
‘What?’ My dad looks bewildered.
‘It’s not working,’ she goes on, still not bothering to look at him. ‘It’s never going to. I want you to leave.’
‘Right.’ His expression hardens. ‘And if I refuse?’
‘Then I’ll change the locks.’ She shrugs. ‘And if you try to force your way in…’
‘Force my way in?’ He laughs, incredulous. ‘What the hell are you on about, Natalia?’
‘…I’ll call the police,’ she finishes.
He falls silent for a moment, then nods slowly. ‘Would you like to tell me why?’ he asks.
